my way to the grocery store this morning it felt surreal to see how desolate the city seemed. Of course, I knew streets would not be busy and stores closed, but it wasn’t the same as experiencing it first hand.
Target had a large sign on it’s red-bordered doors: “We are open under special operating hours”. Whole Foods doors used similar language: “Until further notice, ALL Whole Foods will be open under special operating hours”.
Even after I processed the “new normal”, it didn’t alter the fact that the once-bustling, neighborhood Starbuck’s boarded doors seemed surreal. As I looked through their windows, completely dark, I took a pause. Things had definitely changed. Life as we knew it has taken a new beat.
Yet, I felt excited for the love that will be born from this pause. The only constant that seems to remain is love. It’s the one staple of our life that shall remain.
The Love factory remains open. It does not have an alternative operating schedule. It won’t be opening later, closing earlier, and hasn’t boarded its doors. It’s open and operating at its full capacity around the clock.
Love is the only sure thing we have right now. It’s all we can count on. That makes now the most inopportune time to give up on love. Putting love on the back burner for brighter days and clouds full of certainty is surely giving up on love. There is no reason to put it off for better days. You have had better days and failed to seize them along with their opportunities to find and give love.
Today, along with the collective crisis we face as humans, you are battling your own unique set of adversities both large and small. These adversities and the larger crisis at hand make today, the day to find the love you not only need but also deserve.
Yet, I felt excited for the love that will be born from this pause. The only constant that seems to remain is love. It’s the one staple of our life that shall remain.
Love is more than the romance at the height of the ride that is life. Love is also the shelter and warmth that make you realize amid the most shuttering of times that all that is important shall remain. It is a reminder that regardless of the altered landscape that will conclude these times, when the dust settles, and it will, there will be love. Love is the sum of all things important. Love is the reason for everything.
You have had your moments of panic about the state of your job, finances, and life as you knew it. As have we all. The panic derives from concern for our ability to sustain the life we love, provide for the people we love that are in our present, and for the people we dream of loving that are in our future. Yet again, the answer remains love.
Love is also the shelter and warmth that make you realize amid the most shuttering of times that all that is important shall remain.
Today you should love without ceasing. You should search high and low for what is your right, to love and be loved. You can’t expect the tales of yesteryear to hold true for you. The stories of love magically appearing on your doorstep will not likely apply. You should become the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks of 2020 in You’ve Got Mail. Find your love, nurture your love, and create your own fairy tale.
Search for the love that is yours. It is there, they are home and are too longing for the things you long for. Out of the sheer vulnerability that is now, in your sharing, and empathizing you might be able to create one of the greatest love stories of all time. Imagine telling your grandchildren how you “penned” virtual messages to one another before ever meeting. Imagine their eyes as you describe how you connected so deeply before even having set eyes on one another in real-time.
You should unequivocally and unapologetically put yourself on the market. You, with all your imperfections. You, with all your current life instabilities. You, without a plan. You, yes you. Do it.
How do you start your job at The Love Factory?
Sign up, Engage, and Expect. It’s that simple.
Sign up
Sign up for your preferred dating app. Most dating apps are running specials. This makes signing up now more practical now than ever. Maybe you already have an account — login in.
Call the matchmaker you considered using.
Hell, send the DM you’ve been contemplating.
As long as you do something there is no right answer, but rather what avenue feels most right to you. Nothing ever happens if you never take then the first step. Sign up, log in, let’s get this show on the road.
2. Engage dating like it is your new nine to five.
I discussed this in my recent article “Why you should date during the pandemic”. The same diligence and fervor you would put into a work assignment should be put into a day at The Love Factory.
Listen, I get it, some of us still work from home and are trying to find a new pace of working. While that is true, there is an inordinate amount of hours being spent doing little other than binge-watching Tiger King on Netflix.
Set assigned hours for you to date like it’s your job. Adhere to them like you would any expectations at your job.
Update your profile.
Add more breadth that profile description.
Pick a new profile picture.
Peruse profiles and engage others.
Like their pictures.
Reach out with thoughtful inquiries instead of quick canned lines.
You’ll be surprised at what results from your newfound effort will produce.
3. Expect the Unexpected
I am always telling my clients to put away expectations and show up as their best selves. The rest always works itself out.
These are uncertain times and formal rules of dating clearly do not apply.
Be willing to take a leap of faith. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone. Most of all be willing to commit to the process.
We all show up to work each day with no promise of what tomorrow will hold. We always have. Even the possibility of days like these didn’t stop us from putting forth the full effort that our responsibilities deserved. We pushed forward anyway. As should you with dating. The possibility that it may not work should not deter you from a full-throttle effort. The unexpected may be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
May love cure your every fear and quell all your dark places. Find your love. It’s there for the taking. Will you do your part?
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You can find out more about my work as a dating coach and matchmaker at www.francois-bodine.com and [email protected]
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Originally published on Medium.com