Last week I was speaking to a group of about thirty guys, and there was one question to which they ALL wanted to know the answer: What is a great way to meet people in a bar? I told them “You want a great way to meet women in a bar? Make fun of the whole situation.”
Everybody is looking for the ultimate icebreaker to use in a bar. It’s like those old socials you used to have at summer camp, or that snowball dance they had every year in high school – it’s boys on one side and girls on the other. Both groups just stand there trying to figure out “What the hell should I say?!”
If you look around most bars, you’ll notice that things really haven’t changed since those high school snowball dances. So one of my favorite things to do in a bar is to walk directly over to a woman who has been staring at me and say this: “I see you checking me out. Were you just going to stand there all night long, or were you going to come over and say something?”
She’ll laugh, then I’ll say “Do you have approach anxiety? You know there are some great ebooks and audio programs on the Internet that can help you overcome this.” She’ll crack up and start teasing me. She’ll start defending herself, telling me that she does not have approach anxiety.
I’ll then continue the banter back and forth, and I’ll reprimand her about the snowball dance in high school. Then we’ll start talking about all the other people in the bar and their approach anxiety. This ALWAYS leads to a funny and fun conversation.
What you’re doing here is making fun of the most obvious mannerism in the bar. You’re making fun of everyone not knowing what to say.
I’ll even sometimes change the approach to this: “I saw you checking me out. Were you waiting for the right minute to talk to me? C’mon, I know you were trying to figure out the right thing to say to me – you know, that magical phrase that would ‘wow’ me when we meet.”
By making fun of the most obvious thing – something that everyone is doing – it makes it one of the most unique and fun approaches you can do in a bar. In reality, we are still the same shy high school kids standing at the snowball dance wondering what to say and how to break the ice.
So the next time you’re in a bar and you are craving some fun conversation, point out the obvious. Accuse somebody of suffering from approach anxiety or of sitting back and trying to think of the right thing to say. I guarantee that the result will be that you have some amazing conversations.
Do you know what’s really funny, though? Even armed with this fantastic advice, due to your conditioning and fear some of you won’t even try this.
Of course, you can always just walk up to someone and hand them a copy of this blog when you’re next in a bar, and have them pass it around. Just please don’t bring them any of Dr. Bob’s comments. You don’t want to scare them off too quickly.
Perhaps you will take the better option and just try this! I guarantee it will lead to some great conversations.
Today is the start of 45 straight days with a new video.
Today we go over how to raise the bar in flirting and how to be bold.
Originally published on David Wygant
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