All of these fears led me to seek a situation I thought I could control. I did love him, but I chose him with my mind as much as I did my heart. I made a calculated business decision and bet on myself to carry the weight of that decision. I made him a cog in my machine. It’s easy to say I was cheated on. It’s much harder to say that what tumbled down was already built on lies. I had to look at myself and realize that I was cheating myself. Already drowning in the life I created, I tried to turn him into the life raft that would save me from my own choices. Once I stood up and wiped my tears, I saw that the only person I had to motivate and fix was me.
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Dyanne Brown is a writer and has published several books, including Free Your Mind: Let Go of Everything that Holds You Back. She has committed her life to using her own mistakes to craft articles and stories that inspire introspection and let others know they are not alone in their trials and tribulations.
