Faking It To Make It

As human beings we cannot always feel full of confidence or absolutely capable. We are subject to outside forces like the break up of a relationship, bereavement, and illness, to name just a few stressors.

“Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit”- E. E, Cummings

We have self-esteem, which is inward, and self-efficacy which manifests outwardly and enhances our self-esteem, or our view of ourselves, as well as how others perceive us.

If we have had a good upbringing, we will have both self-esteem and self-efficacy. The first is more fragile, affected by what others say to us, or a failed relationship. Self-efficacy, our ability, is constant unless we encounter a life changing illness or accident.

In times when we feel less confident about ourselves, we need to

• Smile. It releases happy chemicals. A fake smile will quickly become a genuine one as others smile back at you.
• Stand up straight, walk tall. This posture is not only good your lungs, but it empowers you. It is psychological. Mind over body.
• Exercise. Twenty minutes of aerobic exercise five times a week maintains your fitness. It might be taking the stairs instead of the elevator, a brisk walk before or after work, or study.
• Self-talk. Repeating positive affirmations about yourself will raise your confidence.
• Set yourself a goal that you know can be achieved. Something you have done before. It could be running five miles, making a shelf or unit for your home or workplace, or for someone else.
• Breathe properly. Inhale slowly through the nose, hold for four seconds and then exhale slowly through the mouth. Some call this the 5–4–5 Breathing. It relaxes the body if done properly, while sitting. It is recommended to repeat five times, and five times a day.
• Try to keep doing things at which you know you can succeed. If you already feeling stressed, you need not add to it.
• Distract yourself. While it is always good to work through our emotional state, if there is an external factor that you cannot change, you deserve a break. This might be a game of football with your friends, or any activity you enjoy.
• Take up a voluntary role in your community. There are a vast range; mowing grass for the elderly or disabled, coaching your children’s soccer/softball team, helping at a soup kitchen, etc.
• Get interested in nature. Learn lower your carbon footprint. Change begins with one action.

These are just a few ways to stay positive while experiencing the less than great feeling. It is important to keep daily routines going. Showering, eating, going to bed at the same time. Keep up what you usually do each day that is good for you, mind and body.

Humans are complex. What affects our mind, affects our body, and vice versa. We can no longer separate mental health from physical health. We are living through a pandemic, and different demographics have experienced different strictures on how they live their lives.

Most of us have experienced some negative impact, be it bereavement or boredom. Only those with a passion they have been able to continue have come this far relatively unscathed. It seems that the Earth is still subject to “business as usual”, even though many people have lost their livelihoods. We need to be positive and encourage others too. Sometimes it is OK to look after yourself only, if you are not in a life partnership or don’t have children.

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Previously Published on medium

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