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“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” — Pema Chodron
I’m going through one of the tougher stretches in my life. My mom’s cancer returned and my dad is battling through his own set of health and personal issues. A business venture I was a part of didn’t work out, leaving my financial situation in a, frankly, pretty shitty place. And some big plans I had for this year dissolved as soon as the clock struck midnight entering 2016.
It has felt as though a tidal wave has moved through my life, taking with it many things I’ve valued but taken for granted (my family’s health and well-being, financial stability, plans unfolding the way I want them to.) But, as things slowly settle, I take a deep breath and reflect on four pearls of wisdom that have been left in their place.
Even in the lowest of times, life is working for us, not against us.
This has been a pillar of my life for some time now. But I admit, it’s easy to believe in this pearl when things are flowing and going well. The challenge is in seeing the truth in it when things are seemingly falling apart. In fact, these are the times when it’s most vital to feel into this truth. Otherwise, it’s just fluff we use to make ourselves feel special and important.
The truth is life is greater than any one individual and certainly greater than any given circumstance, situation or time period. Life is an eternal carousel traveling through time and space. There’s an evolutionary component that is inescapable. We are here to grow and evolve into higher levels of consciousness that moves us beyond the limiting wants and desires of our fear-based minds. What we think is in our immediate best interest may not be what is actually in the best interest of our ever-evolving self. This evolving self is constantly compelling us to move beyond our perceived limitations into greater and more expansive versions of ourselves.
I can see how, from a certain perspective, the circumstances in my life appear to be a
series “bad” or unfortunate things happening to me. But they’re not. These circumstances are the pathways through which new levels of growth and understanding are able to flow through me. They are truly blessings in disguise.
Our beliefs about life, determine the quality of our life.
I could very easily take on the role of victim in my current life situation. I could yell, “WHY ME!?” till I’m red in the face and ready to pass out. But as I’ve had to learn over and over again, taking this position does nothing but leave me feeling helpless and hopeless to changing anything about my situation. And it certainly doesn’t give me the space to understand the lessons life is laying out for me.
As human beings with an apparent free will, we have the right to view life however it is that we want. We have the right to rigidly hold onto old points of view that no longer serve us. And we also have the right to open ourselves up to new perspectives that inspire, illuminate and move us forward.
If we hold on to the old limiting beliefs, we will remain stuck, viewing life through an infinitesimally small prism that can’t possibly contain all the information we need to make an accurate judgment on whether any given situation is “good” or “bad.”
When we open ourselves up to the new, we uncover a strength, resilience, and wisdom that propels us forward in a way that we wouldn’t have been able to tap into otherwise.
You can trust in life.
I did not birth myself, nor did I decide what time period I would be born into, what sex I would be, what my family and environment would be like growing up or what my natural predispositions are. At no point in time did I ever consciously decide any of these things (nor any of the circumstances I’m currently going through), so how can I then make demands on how this life (that was never promised to go any particular way nor for any particular length of time) should unfold? How can I have the arrogance and the audacity to believe I know what’s best for me? I don’t! I don’t have a clue, to be honest. Nor do I need to. There’s something greater at work here that knows way more than I do and that does a better job of living my life than I ever could.
Whenever I allow life to flow through me, without interfering with my limiting wants, beliefs, projections, and desires, a beautiful flow and synchronicity takes over that I could never have experienced otherwise. The right situations and circumstances open up and fall into place. Insights arise. Feelings and emotions are processed rather than repressed. Life becomes much lighter.
But we can only get to this place by letting go of the illusion of control we have over our life and trusting that, at its most fundamental level, everything that is happening, no
matter how seemingly “bad” or unwanted, is happening for the greatest possible good for the continued evolution of life in this universe. This is a practice that isn’t always easy but that is necessary if we want to experience the inner freedom and flow that is our birthright.
Give thanks for what you have every chance you get.
As I mentioned before, nothing in life is promised to us. Everything that is time-bound, that is, everything we can perceive with our six senses (I include the mind, with its projections and imagination as one of these senses), has a certain lifetime with a beginning and an end. We don’t know if the lifetime will last eighty years or eighty seconds, but what arises will eventually fade away. Health, wealth, longevity, possessions, friendships, loved ones, careers, plans, life- we don’t know how long we have with these things. Yet so many of us (myself definitely included) walk through life as if these things were a given; as if we had some special right to them for all eternity. But we don’t. And the faster we can recognize this, the more immediate our return to the present moment is, which is where we realize…..this is all we ever truly have. This breath. This moment. This feeling. Right now.
I don’t know about you, but this realization brings me to my knees. It humbles me to my core. I’m left in a state of utter gratitude for being alive in this moment especially because it’s opposite could be just as true in the next moment.
From this place, I can only say thank you to life. Thank you for this moment. Thank you for giving me this mind through which I can perceive and experience the world. Thank you for my health. Thank you for giving me a loving and supportive mother and father for all 30 years of my life. Thank you for the strength and unity my family is showing in rallying around my mom during these challenging times. Thank you for closing doors that no longer serve me in order for new ones to open. Thank you for helping me see that any plans I make are coming from a limited perspective where I believe I know what’s in my best interest, when in reality, exactly what I need and ultimately want is replacing them instead.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Reflection:
Observe your own beliefs: do you primarily believe life is working for you or against you? How do these beliefs affect the quality of your day in and day out living?
Do you trust life? If so, do your thoughts and actions reflect this? If not, what blocks you from trusting life?
What are you grateful for? Make a list as often as you can. Remind yourself over and over again all the good things your life is filled with.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images