Start seeing self-improvement for what it is—manly.
As a man in today’s society, I’m in a pretty unique spot. I know I don’t have it all together, and I doubt if I ever will. But I am in better shape in that regard now than I have ever been. This is because I’m always searching for a deeper meaning.
Men aren’t just one step evolved from cavemen … at least most of us aren’t. We’re members of the human race. I love college football but I’ll also cry at a movie or piece of music that moves me. (Seriously, you should’ve seen me at the end of The Bucket List.) I love puppies and babies, and I also enjoy MMA and WWE.
I believe many men like to have it all figured out … whatever that means. We like to pretend we have all the answers. It’s as if we’re skeptical, or even scared, of anything involving self-help or self-improvement.
A friend of mine told me once about a Deepak Chopra video she watched. She said there were probably less than ten men in the audience at Dr. Chopra’s speech.
I get it. The target audience of most spiritual and self-help authors and speakers are women. Even guys like Deepak and Mastin Kipp have primarily female audiences.
Oftentimes, men are portrayed in television and films as bumbling. As a galoot. As something cavemanish. Many TV Sitcoms—The Honeymooners and King of Queens are just two examples—back this up. While men who want to improve themselves and tap into a deeper humanity are portrayed as frou-frou. Those men can be portrayed as something less than masculine.
Are we scared to get involved with things that may improve us? Improve our mind, body, and soul? Or are we content with what life has to offer?
I’ll never forget this. I established self-love is a cornerstone of Team Ryan Productions and Team Ryan Coaching. When I announced the cornerstone of self-love on social media, one of my guy friends turned into Butt-Head. If you know what I mean …
Here’s my question, why the hell not? I’m serious; why NOT love yourself on a deep and spiritual level? What’s wrong with that? What’s frou-frou about that?
Guys, think back to the last failed relationship you had. What was the issue that led to the breakup? That person may have been very attractive, smart, well spoken, kind, and gentle. My experience is that many relationships fail because we don’t love ourselves and we put our partners on a pedestal to make us feel better about ourselves. And I know it’s not just me.
When you don’t love yourself, you’re already on an uneven playing field. You’re already playing from behind. And that is a recipe for disaster.
Why is self-improvement seen as a vice? Why is improving your relationship with yourself a bad thing?
I’ve spent the better part of the last three years seeking self-improvement and a deeper meaning. Through therapy and coaching, I have grown in innumerable ways. I am stronger (physically, mentally, and emotionally) than I have ever been. I am doing big things with my life because I can. I am making the world a better place, one day at a time.
Have I been single longer than I care to admit? You could say that. But I guarantee when I do find that special woman; our relationship will be stronger and better than any I have ever had. Know why? Because I am a better man than I was yesterday.
Gentlemen: now’s the time. Take that first step to becoming a better you. Make your relationship with yourself rock solid. If you do this, every relationship you have will improve. It may take some time, but fellas…it is worth it.
Get on the ground floor of an empire.
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