The following is not an exaggeration. It is an accurate reflection of the conversations my friends and I would have as teenagers when they slept over at my house.
“Hey man, do you think you could hand me a blanket? I’m cold!”
“No! Get yourself a blanket, punk! I am not a wimp and here to serve you.”
As young men, we are often socialized to believe that serving others is a behavior to avoid. We believe doing something kind for another person conflicts with our embodiment of masculinity. Growing up, I saw my mother and father give their time, talents, and other resources away. I respected them and did not think less of them for their willingness to serve without monetary compensation.
My parents encouraged my sisters and me also to help houseguests and others in our community. Nonetheless, somewhere in my environment, I picked up the idea that expressing acts of kindness toward my friends was not part of my identity.
When I was a teenager, my closest friends were a group of guys who I met when I was in the fifth grade. In my book, I discuss how they became more than my friends. They were family, and I appreciated them given my status as the only boy raised in a home with five girls. The fellas and I were inseparable and spent time with each other before, during, and after school.
To this date, I stay in touch with several of the guys from my elementary and middle school years. Due to family, work, and entrepreneurial activities, we don’t talk as frequently as we used to, but we remain in contact through group text. It’s inevitable that whenever we get together someone in the circle brings up their memories of staying at my house for sleepovers. In unison, they agree that they enjoyed staying at my home to steal extra looks at my sisters. But they hated that I would make them get their blankets, towels, or whatever else they needed from the linen closet to feel comfortable.
Despite my parents’ teachings and examples, I didn’t see value in serving others. My mother hosted dinners at our home nearly every Sunday, where she cooked a full course meal for our family and guests. In the community, I was aware of my father’s volunteer activities with hospitals and non-profit organizations. Service was sewn into the fabric of my family, but occasionally I missed the stitches or details and did not apply it in my interactions with friends.
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Service is fundamental to leadership.
It is an essential complimentary activity to gratitude practices. Volunteering, assisting others, making monetary contributions to positive organizations are examples of service that can make a positive impact in the lives of others . . . and your own. The more I grow as the romantic partner to my wife, father to three children, mentor to young people, and personal development coach to individuals and organizations, I understand how fundamental serving the needs of others is to success.
Throughout June, I will share content relative to serving the needs of individuals and organizations in need. For starters, I have created a campaign to support the Capoeira Arts’ Foundation based in Berkeley, California, which offers scholarships and community initiatives via the art of Capoeira. Due to teaching and student experiences in Capoeira for the past twelve years, this organization has proved instrumental to the man I am today.
Thank you for taking the time to read. If providing impactful services via the arts resonates with you, please consider going here to support me and the Capoeira Arts Foundation.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo Credit: iStock