My daughter has always been very popular with the boys, a phrase that’s hard for any father to say without cringing, no matter what the age or context. Last year at parent pick up all I had to do was look for the group of roughhousing little boys and she was more often than not right there in the middle, a trend that has continued this year. Most of the classmates that showed up for her birthday party last year were boys and this past weekend she was the only girl invited to one of their parties.
Usually, this is a source of pride for me. I love the fact that she is defying stereotypes. That she likes sports, playing in the mud and climbing trees. That she never even considered that she shouldn’t be Captain America last year for Halloween and has never felt constrained by the little pink box that advertisers and retailers try to keep little girls in.
She was very excited about this party. The birthday boy was a friend from preschool that is now in a different kindergarten class. They still see each other at the end of the day but I found it cute that she had still made the invite list. I wasn’t surprised that she had her outfit all picked out and ready several days in advance and also wasn’t surprised that a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles T-shirt was her choice.
What did surprise me, catching me completely off guard, was her reason for wanting that shirt. It was because it was a boy shirt. It was a boy shirt and the boys would like it.
This was completely unacceptable to me. I told her that under no circumstances was she going to wear anything or act in any particular way just to make a boy happy. I told her that girls are allowed to like all the same things that boys like and just because a shirt was purchased from the boy section didn’t mean that girls couldn’t wear it.
I immediately began to worry that her interest in superhero action figures and sword and sorcery play-acting were only a means to ensure that I would play with her. How wrong had I been about who I thought she was? How much of it was just to make me happy?
I was, of course, being completely ridiculous. After giving me the “you’re stupid” look that I seem to be on the receiving end of quite often, she calmly proceeded to tell me all the things that boys and girls like that are different. Boys like basketball, girls like football. Boys like race cars, girls like trucks. Boys like dinosaurs, girls like dragons.
Boys like ninja turtles, girls like real ninjas.
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This post was previously published on ThirstyDaddy and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Jeremy Barnes