He Is Not Going To Change

How many times have you come up with excuses?

How many times have you hoped for him to start coming home earlier?

How many times have you fancied for him to notice you?

Every time you hope for changes, you abandon yourself.

Staying in a toxic and draining ‘relationthing’, because you can hardly call it a relationship, shows how little respect you still have for yourself. Needless to say, through that reflection, he has no respect for you as well, as he does now know how to treat others based on how he treats himself.

Instead of hoping, elevate yourself to knowing you deserve better.

By waiting for him to change, you are perpetuating your misery. With every day, you are choosing his needs over yours, your hopes over your wants.

Guess what? It did not happen to you. You allowed for the lousy treatment to continue.

When he tastes your lips, you don’t know if the kiss is sincere or is it one of many.

When you make excuses for him, you don’t know how many times more you are going to lie to your friends again.

He is not shiny. He is not brand new. You are just another one who got fooled.

You got yourself caught up in the heat, and now you are ashamed of your burns. Because you are the one holding the match, and you keep wondering why there is a fire.

You might argue when I met him he was different. And you may still get glimpses of the old one, but you will never be able to feed your appetite with memories of his youth. No matter how many peaks of the past you get through the day, you will starve yourself with expectations vs reality.

And that is not a real love.

Pure love is free.

Love does not worry. Love does not get jealous. It is abundant, so does not make you feel less.

Love is not possessive. It feels always right and at ease. Where there is love, peace resides.

While you wonder how to fix him, you are ruining yourself. For there is only one solution to a way out.

Change yourself. Change how you approach the thing. Change how you treat yourself. Change how you allow to be treated. Change how you speak to yourself and allow others to speak to you. Change what you believe about relationships.

Do you believe love is hard to find or that you do not deserve better? Do you suspect you are unlovable? I bet you do on a subconscious level. Otherwise, you would not give consent for a goddess like you to be one of many. What you permit, you promote.

You have got some dirt on your shoulders. That is fine. Brush it off.

Literally.

Do not beat yourself up for your mistakes. You have learnt. You have grown. Now it is time to learn a lesson and face the hard truth. He is not going to change. You have to change for the situation to improve.

Your romantic relationship is the extension of the relationship you have with yourself.

Your self-love is not a force to be reckoned with. A goddess does not chase the man, the validation, the attention. She grants it herself.

I promise you when you taste how it could be. You will never settle for what is.

—

This post was previously published on Hello, Love.

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything