Triggered is experiencing a strong emotional reaction of fear, shock, anger, or worry, especially because you are made to remember something bad that has happened in the past:
— Cambridge Dictionary
It’s never a pleasant experience when we’re triggered by someone or something.
Most of the time, it happens when we least expect it to happen. Someone you knew said something that hit that trigger muscle inside our stomachs. Or it could be a stranger who did something that we saw as disrespectful and it triggered our nerves.
I believe it’s safe to say that we’ve all been triggered in our lives (and still getting triggered to this day). We all have triggers that can rattle us. They can be past events that come out of nowhere and set off our trigger alarms, or it could be a new experience that catches us off guard.
When we’re triggered, that impulse muscle within wants to lash out and retaliate against the person who triggered us. But that action isn’t appropriate to do. We’re taught to bury it inside and be stoic about it — because that’s being the bigger person. But, sometimes you don’t want to be the bigger person, you want vengeance for being triggered in a negative way.
Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash
Acting like it never happened doesn’t help you sleep at night or give you that satisfaction that you desperately want. Doing something that you’ll regret isn’t a good option either.
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I know I used to try acting like I wasn’t triggered (when I was), and that solution didn’t help me at all. If anything, it delayed the inevitable. Those emotions needed to find a home to go to. When they did, it wasn’t at the right place.
It took time, but I eventually learned to accept when I’ve been triggered by someone or something, and to act on that trigger immediately (in the best way possible). Whenever by writing, hollering/shouting the pain out of my system, or taking some time to process the sensation I feel.
I now acknowledge when I’ve been triggered instead of being stoic about it.
It’s healthier that way. It can be that way for you too if you’re struggling with being triggered by people.
It’s not a great feeling being triggered. We can feel powerless when it happens to us. The person or memory that triggered us hit a soft spot that is in agony. It can take a while for that feeling to die out. It’s just another reminder of how hard it can be being human sometimes.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: What Is Picture Perfect on Unsplash