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As the mom of a son, I admit that I was inexperienced, that I wasn’t what you’d call qualified, to properly try and raise a man. I was young myself when I was given the job; I barely knew how to be a woman. The only guide I had, was what I had known about my father, my brothers, and the other men in my life. But, I also knew what I wanted in a man, what I admired, and what I disliked about them. In the end, I did what every Mother does, I did the best that I could.
I can’t explain to anyone, who isn’t the mom of a son, how much pressure you’re under, knowing it’s your responsibility to raise your son to be a good man.
A man that will work hard for himself, for the things he wants in his life so that he can be proud of himself. One that will be faithful, loyal, dedicated, and kind. For a woman, it’s incredibly intimidating to have to teach our sons how to be that man. And I’ll admit, I never truly believed that I could, or that I would.
And the truth is, I’m still not sure if I did.
My son will turn nineteen in May and will complete his freshman year of college that same month. He is an athlete and still managed to finish his first semester with a 3.68 GPA, so there’s that. But as far as knowing that I was successful in raising him the way I should have, I can’t say. What I can tell you is that my son helped raise me as much as I raised him.
I taught him all the wise, inspiring things that my father taught me. I shared my stories, my opinions, experiences; I tried to display for him, all the things I had told him. I was blessed to have a brother who took the time to do things with him, to be a hero. I was blessed to have a husband who worked hard to provide for his family, even if it meant that it left him little time to be a father; at least he was there, he took care of his responsibilities.
Though I am a bit biased– as every mother is– I can say with certainty, that my son has become a wonderful young man. He’s thoughtful and caring, compassionate and kind, he’s determined and hardworking. He is understanding and wise, he is well-mannered and he is loyal. He is all the things it takes to help a boy become a man.
As much as I’d love to take credit for that, I can’t. Not all of it, at least. And as much controversy that it brings these days, I would be lying if I said that my son didn’t learn, and acquire, a good many of those characteristics from his athletic endeavors.
Being an athlete takes hard work, sacrifice, determination, and heart. My son played football, baseball, and basketball, from a very young age. He sacrificed about 85% of his time for thirteen years, to being an athlete. To being the best athlete, teammate, and person that he could be. He gave up summers, weekends, and social gatherings; he gave up most of his childhood, in order to be a part of something greater.
He was aware of the dangers, the potential injuries, yet he accepted the fact that danger lies in everything we do. Being an athlete taught him how to be a part of a team, that it’s not just about him, not even in life. It taught him loyalty, punctuality, and responsibility. It taught him how to win as a team and lose as a team.
We are living in the generation of debate.
You can debate with me from sunrise to sunset, but I, my feelings, nor my knowledge, will budge. Not because I can’t understand the argument, but because I, as a girl, as a woman, have seen with my own eyes, what being an athlete does for our boys, for the boys we are trying to raise to be men.
And I know without a doubt, that my boy wouldn’t be the man that he is, had he not chosen to be an athlete. Not because he wanted to look cool, be cool, or gain notoriety; but because he chose to be a part of something that benefited more than just himself.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I agree one-hundred percent. Sports were a huge part of my village, and I will forever appreciate and support its purpose.
I wouldn’t be the mom, or the woman I am today, without them. It is because of them, that I can say that I raised the best man that I could. And that I am proud of the young man that my little boy has become. No matter what the world expects, or thinks, he is content with what he knows, what he has experienced and learned from being an athlete.
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Photo courtesy Unsplash.