Her husband is reawakening and chasing his dreams. Here’s how she’s supporting him and what she’s learned.
My husband is in the middle of a reawakening of sorts. And it’s totally my fault. You see, when we first met, my husband was shy, a bit nerdy, and didn’t have a lot of self-esteem. He was never one of those guys that was full of “swagger,” and I liked him even more because of it. He’s always been kind, quiet, and loved by everyone he meets. He’s just the kind of guy you like to be around.
And while I loved his kindness and his steady, responsible work ethic, I knew he had something great in him. He’s overcome some big obstacles in his life and come out the other side a successful and awesome guy. For years, I’ve been subtly nudging him to embrace his value and encouraging him to strip away the nervousness, the shyness, and the “I’m not good enough” thoughts. I was slowly kindling a fire of greatness in him.
And it’s worked! He’s changing. No, I don’t mean that he’s suddenly a cocky, full of himself bro now. But he’s becoming the man that he was meant to be. He’s finally seeing that he deserves the good things that are happening to him. It’s as though he’s realized that the well-known quote from the movie ‘The Help’ is true. “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” He’s finally got it! I’ve been telling him for years! Praise the Lord with emoji hands raised!
However, with this newly found confidence comes inevitable changes. I’ve gone from the encourager to the supporter. My husband is finally doing all the things he’s wanted to do for years. Gone are the days of simply talking the talk. I have to walk the walk with him.
Such a shift in one’s personality and heart brings its set of challenges. I am no longer “just” the encourager. I am now whatever he needs me to that day. I am blog post editor, e-book idea generator, Toastmaster speech critic, WordPress theme installer, and, occasionally, “if you add one more thing to your schedule I’m going to smack you” fist shaker.
As you can see, realizing you can do anything makes you want to do everything. And my husband is doing just that. Everything. It can be overwhelming. So when he comes home and says, “don’t be mad, but….” I know he’s just added something else to his plate. The person I married was a relaxed, down for whatever, Netflix binge watching guy. My “new” husband has a schedule from the time he wakes to the time he goes to sleep. Time with me is scheduled in. Does it drive me crazy? Yes, sometimes. But it’s not about me.
He’s happy. He’s inspired. He’s on fire. And it’s a beautiful thing to see. This husband of mine went from needing encouragement to realizing that he can encourage others! He’s brave. He’s taking the things in his past, the things that scared him and haunted him and slowed him down, and he’s sharing his story. He’s doing great things that will just become greater.
I encourage you–if you have a spouse or partner that has a story to tell–to push them. You’ll probably see it in them before they see it in themselves. And when that first glimmer shines in their eyes, be prepared for the rollercoaster ride you’re about to go on. It’ll be wild, crazy, and scary. Sometimes, you’ll want to jump off. Take it from someone who’s been through it.
When your spouse changes, when the very essence of their personality and heart changes, you can either run from it or embrace it. It’s going to be scary. But this is just a better version of the person you fell in love with. When you’re faced with suddenly having a dreamer on your hands, I encourage you to feed that fire within them. You’ll soon see that this dreamer of yours is even better than what you had before.
Photo: Flickr/ Nathan Colquhoun