Hey Wendy,
How do you respond when you let someone know you aren’t interested and they respond with insults?
Selena R.
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Hey Selena,
I don’t.
And you shouldn’t, either.
There seem to be two kinds of responses:
First, there are the “suuuupppp?” or “hi baby” messages. I didn’t respond to the Suuuppp-Babies. These bottomfeeders can be ignored.
But if someone reaches out with something real to say — I mean more than six real words with at least an attempt at grammar, then responding with a quick, kind “no thank you” is appreciated by most daters.
A guy friend of mine wrote to 40 women in a row, and crickets… drove him right off the site, never to date online again.
A kind and friendly “Hey, thanks for writing, but we’re not quite a match. I appreciate you reaching out!” is a good citizen thing to do.
And…
Every once in a while…
Your kind response is met with nonsense like, “You’re ugly and a total loser. Bitch, this is why u r single.”
And that’s a tame one.
This nonsense can really shake a person.
But I don’t want this behavior to shake you for more than a millisecond, so here’s how you handle it:
The instant — and I mean even if you’re three letters into the first word of that email —the instant you can tell it’s one of those emails, hit that delete key and then block them.
Once that part’s over, shake that sucker off. Burn some sage, listen to Taylor Swift’s Shake It Off or do the “not mine” dance — whatever it takes.
Then, once you’ve shed that B.S., do something that makes you happy.
Lastly, right before you go back online, remember this: Your person is out there, and all of this will have been totally worth it once you get to your love.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Mimi Thian on Unsplash
