I recently spoke at my sister’s wedding. My speech was three paragraphs long and I spoke for about three to four minutes. The response to my speech was staggering. The number of wedding guests who came up to me and told me my speech was perfect was almost hard to believe. I didn’t even personally know many of them. The best part was, my sister came up to me afterward openly weeping, and said,
“You have a beautiful mind. That speech was flawless.”
I had two meltdowns the day of the speech because I was so nervous. I kept it short, sweet, and simple because I didn’t want to be in front of a crowd for too long. I wove in some poetic and romantic language for visualization purposes. Below I’ll break down my speech into three different parts in order to help you write about the most difficult topic to put into words: true and lasting friendship or familial love. We’re not focusing on stories or inside jokes to captivate an audience at a wedding. We’re speaking about emotions. This is a speech to make people feel.
Part I: Speak to How You Feel About Your Person In Simple Terms and Skip the Inside Jokes
The cardinal rule for wedding speeches is to keep them short. Holding a large group of people’s attention involves leaving out any unnecessary frills. Skip the inside jokes if you don’t want to bore anyone to death. Skip the stories. Just speak directly about how you feel about the person who asked you to speak.
My part I:
Carly is my favorite person on earth. She always has been and she always will be. She is my whole heart. She is my person. She is my best friend. She is my role model. She is my soul sister. To put it simply, Carly is my everything. I know her like the back of my hand. So when I saw her with Colin, I knew immediately he had to be the one. I may have decided before she did. She was just too important to me to end up with anyone else.
Above I convey how I truly feel about my youngest sister, which quite frankly was difficult to put into words. I spoke about how much she meant to me. In this part of my speech, I spoke slowly and looked directly at my sister. I didn’t focus on the crowd. My words were focused on my emotions rather than telling the story of our relationship. The story of your relationship is too long to sum up in a shortened speech. Emotions are easier to illustrate in a concise manner.
Part II: Your Emotional Perspective on the Relationship Between Your Person and Their Significant Other
For this section, I chose to write about their love story in a way that would help the crowd visualize and feel loving emotions. Instead of literally describing how they fell in love, I focused on how it made me feel to watch them fall in love. This technique helps your words convey authenticity by unabashedly opening your heart to the crowd.
My part II
Colin and Carly seem to move in a symbiotic dance even when they are standing still. As I watched the symphony of their love unfold from a front-row seat, I slowly began to believe in miracles. It was like watching a beautiful ballet, it truly moved me and it changed me. Something deep inside my sister began to pirouette, and she became incredibly beautiful, inside and out, even moreso than she already was. I was transfixed by her. A patience, a kindness, a fearless open heart that I had not known, though I know her like the back of my hand.
I watched a childlike sense of wonder return to her eyes as they bloomed open like flowers in the presence of colin.
Here’s where the romantic language began. I felt it would be most appropriate to convey my perspective on their love story through poetic language. Poetry allows you to release emotions through creative expression. Emotions about best friends and family members are typically wonderful and complex. Describe what it felt like to watch these two people fall in love from your perspective. Don’t be afraid to dress this part up a bit. The best part about this section is that nobody has the same thoughts or feelings as you. You have an opportunity to be unique, authentic, and captivating.
Part III: Speak About The Significant Other’s Greatest Strength and How They Fit Into Your Life or Family
My Part III:
Colin has perhaps the most honorable and greatest strength that exists in this world. He has grace. You can feel it in his presence; it’s a sense of comfort and peace that surrounds you like still waters. Not only did Carly need this grace to balance her grit, but so did our entire family. We shake hands and say ‘good game’ instead of I love you. Colin showed us all grit cannot stand alone to be effective. Grit needs grace. I will be forever grateful Colin brought this to my sister and to our family. And with that, I’d like to officially welcome you with open arms.
This part is sort of self-explanatory, but it can be done easily even if the significant other is not your favorite person (it happens sometimes, not in my case). Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. In this section, discuss the significant other’s greatest strength. Then, discuss how this strength will impact your person’s life, your own life, and the lives of people in general. This helps you connect with the significant other and their side of the family from an emotional standpoint. End this part of the speech by welcoming the significant other into the family.
Closing Thoughts
To write the best wedding speech ever focus on your own emotions and perspective rather than speaking about events. Don’t be afraid to improvise, if you are nervous, tell the crowd you’re nervous. It’ll show you aren’t afraid to be vulnerable, a trait that the majority of people admire and aspire to. I cried during my speech and apologized for “being a human puddle”. This was exactly how I felt at the time. Everyone laughed. Make time to separately speak about your person, how their love story makes you feel, their significant other’s greatest strength, and how this strength impacts your life and the lives of others. Emotions are authentic and beautiful. People respect authenticity and there’s no reason not to make your words sound like art. Good luck. You have a beautiful mind. Your heart is more beautiful. Show it through the art of weaving words with emotions. Good luck.
—
This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
***
You might also like these from The Good Men Project:
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.