Lovesickness torments each of us sometimes more, sometimes less, but everyone knows it! Here are 10 tips on how to heal yourself!
For love, there is no typical rule of thumb because each of us grieves differently. In summary, however, it is often as the saying goes: time heals all wounds.
We can also do a lot ourselves so that we can endure lovesickness better and free ourselves more quickly. With the following 10 tips, you can heal your lovesickness and leave your ex behind.
Let the grief run free at the beginning.
Breaking up with someone you had strong feelings for is terrible. The heartache often hurts so indescribably that even the world’s parallel end would be nothing against this pain. That’s why you should give yourself plenty of time to grieve.
You can cry, reminisce, and cry more. Letting out your grief and other negative feelings is beneficial for the soul, even if you don’t feel that way at first. If you block yourself and keep yourself from grieving, even though you feel that way, you are not only rejecting yourself but also endangering your psychological well-being.
If you have problems letting your emotions run free, you can try music. Otherwise, it even helps if you look at old pictures or videos. It is only important that you deal with the separation!
Heal lovesickness with writing
Yes, you’ve read that correctly. When you start to write down your thoughts and feelings, it almost works like a peeling for your soul. Just use something like a diary in which you write down everything you feel and stress.
If you then read it in the next few weeks, you will gain a whole new perspective on your past situation. You can choose your writing style just as freely, do it the way you feel comfortable. Personally, for example, I like to write poetry and always listen to music on the side!
Talk to your loved ones
Another tip on how you can better deal with the pain of your separation – talk about it calmly. So that you can process your feelings, it is normal that you want to talk about your breakup repeatedly.
If you have friends and family who comfort you well, you will always find understanding and well-intentioned advice. If you’ve had a breakup for too long, consider therapeutic help as well. Try not to leave anything unsaid and you will let out and reflect your thoughts and feelings through speaking.
Avoid contact
For some, this is the biggest hurdle and yet relatively self-explanatory. It is difficult to fight it, especially at the beginning, but you have to remember it will only be more difficult for you if you encounter him on social media channels like Facebook or Instagram.
If you keep returning to the old feelings, you are only tearing open old wounds that actually want to heal. Small wounds can then become scars that mark your psyche – and thus your well-being – in the long term.
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Lovesickness is a circle of friends
It is not uncommon for you to fall in love with a friend and, unfortunately; the relationship did not end well. Then it is not even possible to simply break off contact, but you are forced to meet either at work or friends or family events. In such situations, you should be respectful, yet determined. So say “Hello” politely, but you are also not required to start a conversation with Him.
Don’t just blame yourself
Especially if your friend breaks up with you or unexpectedly, it can cut deep into the flesh. In retrospect, you try to find reasons for the breakup and if there is no supposed reason, then you take the breakup more personally than it might even be.
Appreciate yourself and treat your own feelings that way. It doesn’t matter what reasons your ex-boyfriend might have had.
You deserve to be loved with all your heart and you shouldn’t get involved with anyone for under worth. Everyone makes mistakes and the only thing you can do is reflect on your behaviour in the relationship and learn from them. Perhaps you will then also understand why a separation made sense and you can grow from it!
Heal lovesickness with self-love
It sounds easier said than done, but it’s true. Once you have learned to accept and even love yourself, then you have taken a giant step towards healthy self-esteem. After a breakup, you feel miserable, useless, limp or don’t even want to get out of bed. You blame yourself and feel you don’t deserve to do something good for yourself.
Put an end to this! Do you feel like going out for sushi, but nobody wants to go with you? Go Would you like to see a great film, but nobody will come with you? Go Such outings are not exclusive ventures that you can only undertake with your partner. Even if you are there alone: You deserve to do what you feel like doing. Besides, nobody knows who you might meet there!
Don’t idealize your ex anymore!
When a breakup occurs, the relationship ends, like quitting smoking. Withdrawal symptoms can quickly occur, which is why we tend to idealize our addictive substance.
“I still smoke, but now only 3 cigarettes a day,”
These excuses and many more talk you about your addiction and you fall into the vicious circle – it is the same with a breakup. You idealize your partner; not that bad and before you know it you want him back. However, at such moments you have to ask yourself the question:
If the relationship with your ex was so nice and great, how did you break up?
There must have been some things that made you doubt Him too. Whether it was his behaviour, whether he was not by your side in sad moments or whether he immersed you in an alternating bath of good or bad feelings – these are all reasons, why a separation made sense for you!
Redesign your future
In most cases, breakups seem very painful and like there’s nothing positive about you – but that’s not true! Breakups almost always turn out to be the right decision, and a tough breakup, in particular, can nurture the groundwork for a new and even stronger relationship.
So try to deal with the situation as positively as possible. I even claim that every fate has its meaning and always takes you one step further – to the person you want to be, but also for whom you will ultimately be destined!
If you’re looking for ways to heal your lovesickness, it might help if you answer the following questions:
- Compared to your last relationship – what should never happen in your future relationship?
- What would you do differently next time?
- What do I expect from my future partner?
- In what ways do I want to change for the better?
- What am I actually looking for?
Don’t look for a replacement
In the world of love, there are basically no rules about what you can and cannot do. Still, sometimes the pain of separation plagues you so much that you try to forget about your ex with other people. In most cases, however, this goes wrong and before you know it you are stuck in a relationship that will only make you and your new partner unhappy.
Instead, try to be more concerned with yourself, your hobbies and the things you enjoy doing. Can’t think of a hobby that you enjoy doing? Then you are ready for new hobbies! Whether sports like tennis and karate or a creative hobby like music or art. See it as an advantage to reinvent yourself!
Time to heal lovesickness
Always be aware that time heals all wounds. If your love was so strong it would not have been broken. If other circumstances handled your separation even then, only time can tell whether you were meant to be. Don’t waste your time waiting for someone unsure of their own feelings and goals.
You deserve to be loved with all your heart and not to change partners like a pair of shoes from time to time. The one who deserves you know your worth and will do everything to win you over – even if the odds are against him.
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This post was previously Published on medium.
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