Ask Wendy: Dating, Sex & Relationship Advice for the Bold
Hey Wendy,
My boyfriend of six months wants me to meet his children. Our relationship is going well so far, and just last week he asked if I was ready to meet them. I said yes but now I have some concerns. The kids are six and three, and I’m not sure how I’m going to communicate with them.
I really want his kids to like me and I don’t want them to feel pressure. I’m afraid I’ll be awkward and the kids won’t like me. So what should I do?
Sarah C.
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Hey Sarah!
The awesome thing about six and three is they don’t give a good God damn about what adults are doing — they don’t realize that parents even have a social life. There’s nothing outside their world, so you’re good. No pressure.
I don’t have kids. But I have been faced with this scenario, so here’s what to do. Six and three? You lie.
Don’t worry, it is just a little, white lie that will grease the wheels of friendship without threatening their safe and predictable world.
Make a plan with your guy to meet his children at your local ice cream parlor. He gets there at 6:00, and you show up at 6:07 just “by chance,” and he says, “Hey kids! Wow! Look! It’s my friend, Sarah! Sarah, want to join us?” Presto! You’ve now inserted yourself into their lives as the nice lady they ran into at ice cream who told that funny story about how many ways she fell when she learned to ride a bike.
Two weeks later, another meeting, this time at the grocery store near the ice cream shop. You show up at the end of their trip and dad says, “Wow, look kids, it’s Sarah, again.”
You say, “Hi everybody! Wanna go grab an ice cream cone with me?” This time you spend time asking the kids about themselves. We humans love to be seen and known. It’s as simple as, “What’s your favorite toy?” Or “What are you excited about doing this summer?” Then listen and pay attention to them.
Two weeks later, he tells the kids, “We’re going to a BBQ at that nice lady Sarah’s house. She said she’d have your favorite ice cream there.”
Immersion through dairy.
Before you know it, you’re their friend, Sarah. And isn’t it cool, you’re also around the house more because you and daddy are friends too. Done.
Good luck out there!
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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