Note: The below story is catering to people who are single and genuinely want to be in a relationship. By no means is being single a bad thing. A relationships is something you really have to want. Here’s how you can help yourself. Consider subscribing so you don’t miss out on my upcoming stories.
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Let’s face it. Being single can suck, especially if you really want to be in a relationship with someone and you can’t find that special person. Dating in these times can be a massive challenge if things remain at an impersonal level on a dating app or text messaging. I wrote a story about it. Read step 2 to overcome your fear of rejection.
There are three things you need to really do if you are serious about finding a partner. Most people are looking for attention only. It’s not the same. You can read the difference and gain more understanding about it here.
In this story I’m going to share with the three thing that will bring you to a happy place.
1. Get a hobby
Eating out and drinking, taking selfies or photos of your coffee, food or drink don’t count as hobbies. Photography though, is a hobby. Any creative pursuit, (that doesn’t involve consuming food) and brings you happiness is a good hobby to have. If you’re single, you’re seeking company. having a good time, laughter and connection.
If you don’t fill your own cup (with your hobby), you will walk around with that emptiness deep inside you. Let me spell it out for you. The word for that emptiness that you are looking to fill is called being n-e-e-d-y. You will give off a needy vibe. And you know what happens when you’re in that vibrational state? People will sense it and they will want to run away from you. Have you experienced it already. Okay, then this is to let you clearly know what those ghosts of dates will never come and tell you.
This is why having your happiness taken care of will do you much good. Never forget that, even when you are in a relationship, happiness is an inside job. This way you won’t be seeking attention or validation from other people. I really want you to understand that this one factor will determine your success in dating. I enjoying going for walks, hikes or to the beach by myself.
2. Do something interactive with others
Doing something interactive that you enjoy will help you connect with others in a meaningful way. In fact, this is one of the best ways to make long-term friends. For instance, you can play a sport, or you can volunteer at a cause you care about. Personally I enjoyed learning partner dancing and public speaking. These two things made me find connection with others. Dancing is something I really love and it makes me very happy.
3. Understand what loneliness is
These days people are taking their feelings for permanent ways of being. This is causing them their mental health. Feelings are fleeting in nature from moment to moment. Feeling visit us, they are temporary, therefore it is foolish to make a life decision based on fleeting feelings.
Loneliness is simply a feeling. It will pass. You have to understand how to handle it rather than resist it and run away from it. Alone means you’re with yourself. Loneliness means you’re not even with yourself. Most people are running away from themselves, looking for the missing presence (which they couldn’t give to themselves) in and with others.
Many people also use food to distract themselves from feeling their negative emotions. It’s called emotional eating. You want to be aware of your behavior so that you catch yourself in the act.
You have to understand that being in a relationship requires presence. If you can’t be present with yourself, you might as well forget about being present with another person. You might find the story below helpful.
Conclusion
Bringing yourself from single and lonely to single and happy takes work. If you follow the heart-centered guidelines in this story, you will be able to navigate your life with a much stronger mindset. Remember, your mindset really matters. So you really want to observe how you conduct yourself and your life. Having healthy hobbies, doing interactive things with others and understanding what loneliness are tools and strategies that will help you on your journey to find a meaningful relationship.
Thank you for being here. Do you have time for a couple more quick stories?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com