Life is hard for men today. When life isn’t going as planned, here’s how you can have the strength to keep going.
I seem to be talking with a lot more men these days who have felt the sting of failure as a provider in the home. I guess I can empathize what that’s like because I’ve had to face it myself.
Now, it’s one thing if you’re one of those men who just sits around and plays video games all day, using up resources like a child, while your significant other has to slave her life away to keep you comfortable.
However, if you are just lost in your attempts to succeed at anything you do. And you’re pushing your way through this muck while your significant other has to take up the slack, you may start to get down on yourself.
Even if she is very understanding, trying to work with you, and is encouraging you that everything is going to be okay, you may still feel awful. After all, we’re the providers, and naturally that’s what is expected of our role as men. So if we fail as a provider, we tend to feel as though we failed as men.
Now when it gets hard is when you’re doing everything you can and your other half is belittling and tearing you down, making you feel even more worthless. You might even start hearing from others, such as in-laws, her friends, or anybody else that won’t understand why you just can’t get it together.
There are many other men with secure and healthy jobs who are doing just fine, and they may even have trouble understanding your problem.
You know why?
Well, because they haven’t faced what you faced. They survived just fine through the 2008 recession, and never had to go through what you went through, so it’s very easy to sit on the sidelines and point fingers about what you’re doing wrong.
Perhaps, you saw how volatile a market can be and lost trust in putting all your eggs in one company. Knowing this, you decided to become an entrepreneur and have had to shift your approach to everything. Naturally, that threw everybody off who knows you, and I’m sure many of them have had a condescending opinion.
Or perhaps, you just could never adapt to how fast the markets were changing, and in this new world of work standing above the competition seemed nearly impossible.
It’s crazy tough out there, I know. And now, you’re up against the wall with your entrepreneurial endeavor. And just like anything, you need a runway to get off the ground and you’re faced with the question yet again, “should I just get a job?”
It’s interesting that it was another woman who requested I write this article as she felt men out there were beating their selves up way too much over this. After more feedback from other women on how some women are thinking about all of this, here’s what I’ve realized, and what I believe some men need to hear.
- There are women who realize the enormous power and influence they have regarding the success and failure of their men, and that communication is vital.
- There are women who are extremely grateful for all the efforts their man is making, for everything else that they provide in, not just monetarily.
- There are women who are bringing in more money than their man right now but are still confident that together they’ll get through this, and everything will be restored soon enough.
No matter what this means, I think I’ve come to understand that once a couple understands their unique strengths to support one another through thick and thin, they can work together and communicate very effectively on solutions and be a powerful force of nature.
However, if you still find yourself all alone in your struggle to survive, provide, and come out on top, there are three things you can do to increase your chances of making it.
- Affirmations – Make time to tell yourself every day and every night how awesome an amazing you are.
- Fuel Your Mind – Be an avid learner. Just fill your mind with great wisdom from books, experiences, and mentors.
- Stay healthy, exercise your body – Keep your juices flowing with continual exercise.
And here’s a bonus. Know that no matter what, regardless of the situation you’re in, the one thing that’s going to open doors for you is to always be in a state of genuine care and service to others.
There is something that seemed to shift in my life when I stopped praying for help to get me through the fire, but instead approach the world and everything beyond with the question, “how can I serve you more, or what else can I give you?”
I now serve way better as a coach, as a dad, as a friend and to anyone I come across. It’s as though everything else responded in kind. No matter what obstacles I face, my days just seem brighter, full of hope, full of opportunity, and full of life.
You’re doing awesome, just don’t give up. You would not be in this rut if there wasn’t a real purpose of bringing you out better than you were. Just be awesome, and serve with all your heart.
Photo: Flickr/ Michael Clesle