There is a powerful concept I want to share with you that could change your life forever. In fact, it has the power to fix everything that is wrong in the entire world, starting with you and your family, at home, right now.
You see, there is a virus that has been eating its way through our society. This invisible enemy has been making people sick by the millions, maybe by the billions. In truth, we don’t really know for sure how much it has spread because people can walk around infected, meanwhile infecting people without really realizing it.
People have been suffering under its cruel oppression silently, and feeling powerless to fight it. It has preyed on our fears and anxieties. It has pushed us to a state of unprecedented isolation, has devastated families, businesses and governments. It has brought on no small amount of anxiety, distrust, contempt for everyone around us, including (perhaps especially) our leadership… leading to tangible debilitating outcomes, such as widespread disease and permanent disfunction. The death toll is overwhelming. What’s worse, it spreads so easily and quickly that it seems nearly impossible to contain.
No, I’m not talking about the coronavirus. I’m talking about a threat we have been facing for far longer — but one that similarly spreads without regard to age, gender, or race, defies borders, and reaches deep into the fabric of our society. One that has infected us to the point that we often cannot even detect it, but we can’t open our mouths without it infecting our conversations and affecting our lives in unspeakable ways.
No, I’m not talking about the flu (or influenza) either, or any other plague that may be out there, for that matter. Truthfully, I’m not talking about a physical virus at all. I’m talking about something that has the power to bring far more death and destruction upon us — and it has done just that for centuries.
I’m talking about disrespect.
I’ll bet you never thought about disrespect in that way. You might even be doubtful that what I’m saying is true. But it is.
You see, relationships are the core of our society. Without relationships, we could do nothing. We couldn’t learn from others. We couldn’t buy groceries. We certainly couldn’t procreate…
Relationships are at the heart of everything we do.
They are what makes every system of the world function, from families to entire economies. And when our relationships begin to break down, the effects are contagious, and left untreated, ultimately devastating to everyone and everything around us.
Disrespect is like the plague to each and every one of our relationships, threatening every part of our life, our liberty and our pursuit of happiness.
The good news is, there is a cure. And it is simpler than you might think. It costs nothing and takes very little effort. At the same time, its effect is powerful and exponential. To the degree that disrespect has an effect on our lives, the opposite is also true — perhaps even more so — that treating people with simple respect has a profound restorative effect on everything that we do and everyone we come in contact with. (Physically or virtually.)
Think what would happen if we had a cure like that for Covid-19, or the flu, or any other widespread virus. What if we discovered a non-invasive treatment that would not only help heal the people who were treated, but a cure that is just as infectious as the disease, so that everyone they came in contact with would immediately benefit from its healing properties.
That’s what simple respect is to disrespect. The cure that keeps on curing.
So why don’t we use this so-called treatment more? If it’s so important to treat disrespect with respect, then why aren’t more people doing it?
Maybe it’s because we don’t really understand the dangers of disrespect. Maybe we don’t think it’s as bad as all that. Maybe we feel that if someone disrespects us, the last thing that we want to do is turn around and show them respect. After all, if they don’t respect us, why should we respect them?
But what if I told you your life depended upon it? Would that motivate you to set aside your hurt feelings and try to see things from their perspective? It might. Then what if I went a step further and told you that the fate of the world depends upon it?
Don’t believe me? Think about this…
Right now our country — even the world — is more polarized than ever before. That polarization does not simply come from differing viewpoints. Those have existed from the beginning of time. It comes as a result of a festering, growing disease that has been infecting our minds and our ability to consider that we might just be able to solve the worlds problems by re-learning how to get along with each other.
First, we have to allow ourselves to see things from others’ perspective.
In the United States, we have voted in a President that exemplifies disrespect to the extreme. He is incapable of admitting that he might be wrong — about anything. He calls people names and shuts down any who might disagree with him, and fires any staff member who doesn’t fall in line. “That’s his right,” you might say. And you might be right.
But keep in mind that this one person has the responsibility to make decisions that affect all of our lives drastically — and he has done just that. The decisions he makes can mean the difference between life and death for literally millions of people. In the midst of our current crisis, let’s not forget that he has within arms reach, the launch codes to thousands of active nuclear warheads.
Thanks to the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty, we have far fewer nuclear warheads than we did a few decades ago, but even today our country has enough firepower to kill hundreds of millions of people within minutes. If you factor in retaliation, that kind of action would likely wipe out billions around the world — far worse than our current pandemic.
And what would prompt us to pull the trigger on that kind of madness? All we would have to do is disregard the treaties we have signed with other major countries that keep us from reducing each other to carbon dust. Those treaties are basically built on simple respect for humanity. So to get to that point, we would simply have to allow the disease of disrespect to continue to fester and spread across borders, until eventually it spills over into action.
Do you see how dangerous it is to allow disrespect to grow within our society and with in government? In a democratic government, our leadership is simply a magnification and reflection of who we are as country, and a society.
Every time you label someone as “Leftist”, or “Right-wing”, or “Socialist”, or “Racist” simply because of something they said or someone they might associate with, you are infecting them with a disease far worse than Covid-19. You might think it is your right to speak your mind, and maybe it is. I’m not saying that we should eliminate freedom of speech, but speaking without thought comes at a cost.
After all, I could decide that the government can’t tell me what to do, and I could go around socializing and fraternizing and ignoring social distancing, defying the stay-at-home orders designed to “flatten the curve” and keep this pandemic from spreading out of control. But if by doing that I am unwittingly spreading a disease that leads to many others suffering and dying for my actions, is it worth it? Can I live with that?
Considering we don’t know how many people are infected with the disrespect disease and how our own actions might ultimately lead to someone’s demise, maybe we should take a hint from the CDC, and from the WHO, and start filtering what comes out of our mouths. Maybe it’s time we start taking responsibility for our own words and wearing PPE’s. Made at home…
Made with respect.
. . .
Here’s a little exercise to help get you on the right track. The next encounter you have with someone, whether it is your spouse or your coworker, whether it is face-to-face or via Zoom (or Face Time, or whatever videoconferencing app you are currently using), start out by saying these words:
“I respect you.”
Now, you may not feel comfortable just blurting it out like that, or it may not be appropriate to say it out loud. (Though I would encourage you to do so if you can.) So then try just saying those three words in your head as you look at that person.
[I respect you.]
The goal is to do this for everyone you encounter for the rest of the day.
If you’re having trouble with this, you may need to practice on yourself. Go say those words to the person in the mirror (out loud, if possible).
I respect you!
Now try it again. How does that feel?
Next time your kid comes up to you while you’re trying to get work done and asks a question that seems trivial to you, begin replying by saying those words to him (or her).
I Respect You!
Good! Now for the tough one…
Go, find someone in your contacts that has conflicting political viewpoints from you — you know, the one that can’t shut up about this conspiracy theory or that politician — and text it to them… “I… respect… you.”
Come on, you can do it!
Ok, if that’s too much, then try this: turn on the TV, flip the channel to a commentator you don’t like, and say those words to the TV.
“I Respect YOU!”
Did you do it?
Congratulations!
With just those three little words, we can help stop the spread of disrespect… together.
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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You and is republished here with permission from the author.
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Photo credit: Unsplash