What’s your comfort zone like?
What do you see and feel when you think of it?
Let me know in your comments.
. . .
Mine is coffee in the mornings and chocolate after lunch. It’s delving into my Kindle before I sleep while my cats snuggle up to me in bed. It’s holding my son in my arms while we watch his favourite TV show.
It’s hot chocolate on a cold winter’s day, and a 5k walk in the summer.
My comfort zone is in my day-to-day life, like most people’s. It’s nothing special in the grand scheme of things but it’s important.
I read an article recently that talked about the idea of the comfort zone as a hiding place. A place to escape fear and suffering.
It was described as the space that cuckoos you into a false sense of security because avoiding things that make you anxious actually makes you even more anxious.
It can be seen as a decision blocker.
But what if we could change the way we see our comfort zone? What if we could use it to help guide us into doing what we really want to do?
. . .
Take Your Comfort Zone Outside
I include my comfort zone everywhere I go.
When I hit publish on my first article just over a year ago, I stepped out of my comfort zone emotionally but I was sipping a cup of coffee when I did it. I was at home when I felt my heartbeat increase as my thoughts became public.
I felt exhilarated. I felt as if I’d just gone zip-lining down the forests of the Dominican Republic. I felt free.
I don’t know what’s going to happen to my writing career because I cannot literally predict the future, but every time I feel uncomfortable about sending an article draft to a big publication or writing about my most fearful and vulnerable thoughts, I’m holding something which I carry with me that takes me to a happy place in my head.
That might be in the form of grabbing my toddler son for a hug, listening to my favourite music, or talking it out with a loved one.
. . .
Let Your Comfort Zone Push You Forward, Not Pull You Back
Going out of your comfort zone can seem nerve-wracking, anxiety-inducing, and fearful.
Making tough decisions can cause someone to feel uncomfortable and a lot of people avoid it altogether. But I have practiced an alternative approach to making big (and small) decisions.
I chuck myself in at the deep end while wearing a safety harness. I don’t step out of my comfort zone completely - I take a small part of it with me to help me make difficult decisions.
You too can take with you an object that represents that cozy safety net whenever you’re going to do something bold to keep you grounded.
Think about how children are with new environments and situations - they hold their mother’s hand or they take their favourite soft toy or blankie. They eventually muster up the courage to do something new with a nudge. I used to take my favourite soft toy, a St Bernard dog called Ivan, everywhere I went because it made me feel guarded and safe.
Adults are the same. We sometimes need a nudge, but we can’t depend on our hands being held each time.
You can hold on to something that takes you to a happy place and makes you feel optimistic. And going in with positivity will help you achieve good results.
Some people carry around a gratitude rock. When they touch it, they list the things they’re thankful for, heightening their mood and making them feel joyous. Carrying this while doing something challenging can increase your confidence, too.
Lebron James tosses powder up in the air before every game he plays. That’s his piece of comfort.
It’s about having a comfort zone that enables creativity and encourages you to grow.
. . .
Get Comfortable With Rejection
You have to be OK with whatever results you get once you take the plunge and they need not invade your personal calm space.
No matter what happens, see any outcome as a win even when it’s not obvious.
I have felt scared about getting negative comments and receiving virtually no support from my friends. I have been rejected countless times by multiple publications and ignored by bigger writers, but it does not affect my goal of becoming a Top Medium writer, and ultimately, a world-wide known author and motivational speaker.
Although there are downfalls in my own thinking because negativity still reaches me, I know that being rejected is a lesson.
Rejection means: try again. If it was easy to achieve anything I wanted, I would not be learning.
I went from not receiving responses and being utterly ignored to getting a rejection email - and that in itself is progress!
. . .
Let Your Comfort Zone Grow With You
How Goals Work
And How to Aim High Realisticallymedium.com
Despite looking after my son while my husband takes on the hours with his paying job, I still manage to read and write every day. That’s one goal ticked off.
I have made it into big publications after countless rejections - another goal achieved.
I recently got Top Writer status in the topic “Energy”. Tick!
These are all signs that I am going through the motions to achieving bigger goals thanks to my decision-making, without having an anxiety attack. And I didn’t step out of my comfort zone - I just took it with me.
Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash
Whenever fear strikes, I divert my thinking towards something I feel good about. I use those positive thoughts and objects to direct me towards making that risky choice.
What I have is through my own thinking and my own choices. I have created my own comfort zone and it is forever adapting to me. Once my goals change, my rituals and habits will change too.
Let your comfort zone expand as you do.
Ultimately, your existing calm and happy place is a result of your previously achieved goals if you think about it, so it is bound to evolve as you do.
. . .
Let your comfort zone be the harness that carries some of your weight as you climb up the cliff to success.
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This post was previously published on Medium.com.
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Photo credit: Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash