I Feel Like I’m Going to Cheat

Last night I went out with my friends, had a few drinks, and texted someone I shouldn’t have.

Luckily he was asleep, but when I woke up the following morning, I realized I was sober enough to not care about the “repercussions.” I was ready.

I wanted to drop by his place and roll into his bed.

Screw this marriage.

My husband never touching me, holding me, no intimacy. Ugh. I’m sexually frustrated beyond belief. We don’t kiss, make out, or touch each other. It’s like we are roommates.

(Boy, do we all get to the roommate stage at some point?)

I depend on him financially. And where I live is very expensive. If I’m on my own, life would be much harder. I know I have to face the inevitable.

Have the fight. Separate. Mourn the relationship.

All because I just want someone to throw me on a bed and make my toes curl.

What makes this worse, is that I don’t have a family, so he’s all I’ve got and we’ve been together so long. Yet, when I lie next to a man naked and start touching him, only to tell me he’s too tired again and again. I’m frustrated and I want a full relationship. Not just parts of it.

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**Not my story but damn similar in many ways. I bet so many of us can commiserate.

If she wants a full relationship, then she’s not getting it with her current state of her marriage.

Cheating will get you sex, not necessarily a relationship.

The thing is, how important is sex to you in regards to the rest of your marriage? If you got laid every so often, would you be satisfied at home? Or would the lack of warmth get to you?

Could you compartmentalize enough to keep the peace?

Then maybe, adultery is the answer.

But if you are fundamentally unhappy (oh hello, my life), then mere sex on the side won’t help you hang onto your sad marriage. It’s just holding off the inevitable pain with inertia and status quo (also hits waaaay too close to home).

Then do it! Leave. Do you want the rest of your life to be like this?

That’s the question…

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I’ve written over 600 articles on cheating and dead bedrooms for a reason, people. You know you want to hide in the bathroom reading. I’m so bad, I’m good.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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