In the early days of love, there’s a fascinating taste lingering in our days like the perfume of spring. And it is also lasting, which means that we don’t nourish this feeling only one of four seasons, it’s an evergreen predisposition. It may come as a surprise, some ask for the thrill, others realize they’re caught up in this bliss before they know it. The truth is that seldom do we see it coming, the mind is late and the heart is usually ahead doing all the preparations for the news. I wonder what the clues are to help me embrace this situation with great projects on my mind so that I would know when it’s really for real.
Measuring love would be an unconventional decision, like measuring happiness, there’s no unit developed to take over such a challenge. It’s just beyond our capabilities now. Sometimes we’re walking down the street minding our own business and sooner than later the thought of someone sneaks into your mind and you know there’s something different or charming about it.
Am I in love?
Why am I thinking of him/her?
Everything becomes different, now the birds sing, the sun smiles just for you, the night is the sea your mind navigate in towards the thought of that special person and you wonder why this is happening. Some say reason doesn’t talk to emotion, that you shouldn’t leave it all up to what you feel, that mind shouldn’t be driven by emotions. There’s always other path to climb the mountain of life as one envisions love as part of the journey.
In Influencing Human Behavior, an incredible book on human interactions, communication and reasoning, the author emphasizes and insists on the power of emotion and imagery to drive human change for better, to nurture a more understanding and evolved society. Talking about feeling and being open about it is just necessary to allow the tree on the mind to give fruits with taste and nutrients of love. So, when we’re trying to measure love, we’re not just wondering and asking untouchable questions that lead to nowhere just because love is intangible.
Simply lying some minutes on the table and rearranging them like pieces of a puzzle while thinking of love and all its resulting branches can be an end in itself. As we’re reasoning love we’re growing empathy, sympathy and care. That’s why love talks in a relationship is like the cherry on the icing, a wonderful and beautiful little thing. At the same time, it’s crazy how some couples can go about their loving relationship avoiding to address some deep questions about themselves, their feelings, their heart. It’s like driving in a highway without watching out for the signals along the road. It takes on the shape of a dangerous game where you can lose what you most care about.
I’ve tried to measure love, and it’s still ongoing, giving points to the thoughtful acts of my loving-soon-to-be-more-than-a-friend friend. I’ve stopped paying so much attention to the words, but more to what she means by saying them, the ends she has in mind, her deepest reasons to say what she’s saying… But what I’ve seen as the best proof of love, up to now, is the action one does. Because doing takes time, energy, effort, and people don’t go around doing thoughtful things if they don’t want to, it’s always a step ahead with good intentions, most of the time.
I would like to know what could be an action you’d like that special someone to do for you. Then you could somehow suggest it to your partner. I myself don’t know what my standards are… But a love letter would go a long way to me, maybe because I love writing. Some people would like to walk on the beach holding hands, some enjoy watching a movie together, drawing, singing, dancing… And the list goes on…
So, can love be measured? I’m afraid I don’t have the answer for that, but do we really need one? If we’re considerate and thoughtful for the things someone does to us, then you and I are set to make the most of what this life can offer. Sometimes feelings will be the answer, other times the reasoning will speak louder. We’ll never be sure. But who needs certainty, when learning is never a backwards flow and love is always a new picture we couldn’t create on our own. Maybe, just maybe it isn’t love, but whatever it is, it’s here to teach something if you listen closely.
This post was previously published on Medium.
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