Q: I’ve done all I know how to save my marriage, but my wife isn’t responding. What is your advice on what I should do next?
A: Well first, I honor you for doing all that you can do to save your marriage. So your wife isn’t responding, like she is completely ignoring you? Like she is emasculating you every day? She’s just telling you “Oh honey, everything’s fine!” She’s move out? What does “not responding” mean? There are various stages of not responding where there really is. There is always a possibility but you need her on board to create that possibility. You can’t control another person and if she is done, remember you can’t control her, it may be best to just bless and release her, and move on; if you truly feel you have done everything you can. You can’t get blood out of a stone. Don’t continue banging your head against a wall if she is not changing, it is time to surrender – “Ok, I give” – let’s complete and move on in a way that’s conscious and kind and self-honoring, and honoring of her, to the best you can.
If you haven’t tried therapy, if you haven’t tried coaching, that is a stone still left unturned. I would definitely do that. If she won’t come along for the ride, again – you can’t control her, you can’t drag her along for the ride. Something must have happened where she has made the decision that she’s done. And next is for you to get support to sit in the discomfort and the fire of “Ow, I did everything I could and I still couldn’t make it work.” There is just a lot of heaviness to go through but it can also be the most nourishing, self-evolving, self-loving, confidence builder, heart expanding, time of your life.
So please be willing to contact me for coaching because this could be a time, if you indeed choose to complete the relationship, where you’re gonna need someone to have your back, as you walk through the darkness until the light appears again. It would be my privilege to be there for you. You can email my manager at [email protected], that way it will come straight through her to me. If you are really interested in doing some work, this would really be a good time. If there is that window of opportunity she is willing to join you, then let’s do those six sessions together and heal whatever is in the way of either you two coming back together for phase two of your relationship or completing phase one and releasing each other with ease and grace. It would be my pleasure and my love is with you.
Answers are in video.
A version of this post was previously published on allanapratt.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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