If having a ‘man card’ means you treat your spouse as your property, that you dominate and order them around, then no. My husband doesn’t have one of those cards.
Recently, my husband was accused of not having a ‘man card’ (among other accusations) because he wouldn’t force to me to do something that he knew I was against.
Yep… I’ll just leave that there for a moment to sink in…
Now the comments were not made in a sense of playful banter between friends, if they were playful there would be no cause for this post. The comment was made in a cheap effort to hurt and control my husband. I am proud to say he did not fall for this tactic and instead went on to explain that our marriage was based on equality, fair treatment and had no sense of ownership, though as you would expect, his reply fell on deaf ears.
Unfortunately, all too often we see insecure men as well as insecure women, dominate their submissive partners in an effort to feel powerful. Insecurity based power is always so sad to see. Personally, I don’t subscribe to either of us being the head of the household. Bosses are for the workplace not the home. My motto for marriage has always been “partnership not ownership”.
Having a head of the household would not work out best in all situations. In some areas, I am smarter and more experienced than my husband, and in other areas he is much smarter and more experienced than I. We choose to work together, striking a balance that allows us to learn from each other’s strengths.
If having a ‘man card’ means that you treat your spouse as property to dominate and order around, then no. My husband doesn’t have one of those cards.
Aren’t I lucky he didn’t inherit a ‘man card’ when going through man school – maybe he slept through the man card classes?
He doesn’t have those toxic controlling qualities, but what does he have?
I asked myself, what are the qualities a real man would possess? I debated whether or not to post this as I am a fairly private person, but I hope I can spread a message that we can love someone without overpowering them. When we are free to experience love, we can grow stronger as individuals and as a team. We are without the chains that would otherwise be holding us back from a truly fulfilling life.
I am lucky to write about my life so, loyal in his defense, let me take a moment to honor the person I have been fortunate enough to watch branch out and grow into the man he is today. The man in my eyes.
19 Points that Earn ‘the man in my eyes’ his Man-Card:
- He reminds me I am beautiful and loved, even on my ugliest day, whether I am sick or just feeling a little ‘blah.’
- He displays his strength physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually without competition or insecurity.
- He encourages me to be better without criticizing my flaws. Instead, he leads as a true leader does, through example.
- His actions are aligned with his words.
- He is a man of integrity who stands firm on his values without expecting me to value the same.
- In matters of conflict, he is skilled in the art of communication and leads us to compromise.
- He is practical in all ways and can find a solution to any problem.
- In differences of opinion, he makes an effort to learn about mine with an open heart.
- He compliments my skills and achievements.
- He is the most sturdy shoulder of support to lean on in hard times.
- He keeps us grounded and following a path that is true to ourselves.
- He is constantly learning and bettering himself.
- He offers advice without arrogance.
- He accepts what he is great at, and lets me do what I am great at.
- He is loyal and loving to no end.
- His boldness and bravery inspire me daily.
- He finds joy in the simple moments of our life.
- His sense of humor brings laughter into our home. His deep thinking brings insight.
- He treats me with respect.
‘Man card’ or not, this is my real man and one I am lucky to call my partner on this journey through life.
Photo credit: Getty Images