Man Destroys a Fledgling Relationship in Seconds

A girl meets a guy on a dating app.

From the get-go, the guy proceeds to do everything right.

He cordially introduces himself. He’s honest and upfront about intentions — so, none of this wishy-washy nonsense women often complain about.

Best of all, he didn’t just ask the girl out on a date — he planned it out right down to the tiniest details. All she had to do was show up.

To say the girl was royally impressed would be an understatement.

And yet he managed to destroy a potential relationship faster than you can say ‘buzzkill.’

All because of this pesky thing called the male entitlement.

This is lalalaureneliz’s story, which they shared on TikTok, sparking the discourse around appropriate conduct and dealbreakers when dating.

Best to hear directly from her what this guy did to turn her off:

Based on the two thousand-plus comments on her video (and no, I did not look through every one of them), there seem to be two trains of thought.

One side, which consists mostly of men, says the guy did the right thing. He knows what he wants. He stood on business and set boundaries.

Then you have mostly women on the opposing side, saying he overreacted, with some even stating that an impromptu video call gives them anxiety and they need time to compose themselves first.

As for me, I side with the latter.

The way I see it, lalalaureneliz did not outright refuse. The FaceTime call was her idea, after all; she just wasn’t prepared to do it at that exact moment.

Had I been in her shoes, I probably would have done the same because I want my surroundings and myself to look presentable — first impressions matter, especially when you’re seeing your date in real time for the first time.

But the guy, being so rigid in his mindset, couldn’t handle a micron of resistance if I can even call it that.

He didn’t know this girl from jack-all so for him to expect her to drop everything just because he said so is a bit much.

The nerve of him to say, “I don’t want some curated version of you; I want to see you candid.” Really, my dude? Don’t you realize that sometimes women feel insecure about themselves and need time to feel comfortable, even when they like a guy?

Yes, we all have standards that define our expectations, but they need to be reasonable.

Far too many men these days approach dating from an adversarial perspective. It’s all a power play. For them to feel they are on top, The woman must show unwavering devotion and cooperation from the get-go. In essence, they want their love prospect to be instinctively submissive rather than have it earned.

On the other hand, I somewhat understand why some men might behave that way. Online dating is a shit show for most people. From, getting catfished, scammed, or ghosted — lalalaureneliz’s guy could have been burned a few times before.

But I guess his impatience led him to sabotage a first date and consequently, a potential relationship, even though the girl genuinely sounded like she was feeling him.

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Similar scenario different reaction

This story reminds me of an ex I met several years ago. Just like lalalaureneliz, we met on a dating app. Difference being, I was the one asking for FaceTime, to which she agreed. However, during the FaceTime, which took place at night, she refused to turn the light on, saying she felt too shy to show her face.

Even though I found it weird, I brushed it off and even made fun of her for it, and I continued talking to her. After about 15 minutes, she turned on her light, and we continued our conversation like normal.

That encounter eventually led me to a 2-year relationship. Had I done what this guy did I would have missed out on knowing a great person and all the fun activities we did together.

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Maybe he has a personality disorder

Something I didn’t see mentioned enough while perusing the comment section is the idea this guy could be an abuser in disguise. The way he withdrew as soon as he didn’t get his way is reminiscent of a control freak. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had been more familiar with lalalaureneliz, his reaction might have been anger, manipulation, or passive-aggressive behavior.

Maybe asking for a video call on the spot was an attempt at testing and establishing dominance early. If lalalaureneliz had acquiesced, that would have been the beginning stages of a turbulent relationship.

So, in a way, lalalaureneliz might have dodged a bullet with this one.

What do you think?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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