Here’s how to avoid them.
“I don’t understand, it seemed to be going so well… We even went to Vegas together, and had a great time. But then she said via text that she needs to take the time for herself. WTF?”
My client was expressing his frustration.
Have you ever been taken by surprise like that? You are not alone. Some men lose their family before realizing their relationship was in jeopardy.
To save you potential frustration, it’s important for you to know the 3 massive mistakes most men make that turn women off and how to avoid them. To help you remember these nuggets better, I’ve created graphic characters for each mistake. This way, once you catch yourself becoming one of them, you can stop this behavior in its tracks.
Mistake # 1 The Average Guy
This is astounding to me that many guys not only identify with being “average,” but are ok with it.
“Average” means that natural uniqueness and personality have been suppressed in attempt to blend in with others. The fear of rejection and loneliness drives the desire to fit in.
Saying “I’m average” is admitting that there’s nothing special about you. Sorry, I don’t buy it!
Years of practice being average make a man invisible. This translates into being boring, dull, unattractive, and… pathetic.
Hiding who you truly are behind the “normal” is depriving others of the real, awesome you.
Guess what? This is a HUGE turn off for women, and it should be!
A woman’s mission is to inspire greatness in a man. It’s disgracing for a woman to settle for a mediocre man. That’s why beautiful women, who have self-respect, will never go for an Average Joe.
Refuse to be average! There ARE many traits in you that are far from average. It can be your quirky sense of humor, your extreme geekiness, or creativity. Every person is unique. What makes you weird or abnormal? What makes you unlike any one else? Embrace it, highlight it, and leverage your distinctive qualities.
Popular men are not always the most tall and handsome alpha types, or the smartest, the funniest, or the richest. But attractive men stand out from the crowd, always!
Mistake # 2 Mr. Right
Mr. Right is always… right. Nothing is his fault, and his opinion always wins… because no one else has the stamina to argue with him. He’s an ultimate blame-shifter who points a finger at everyone and everything, but himself.
He’ll preach taking responsibility, while assuming none. He’ll reproach others for being selfish, because, in his opinion, they need to cater to him…
Sounds pretty horrible, right?
But I urge you to make an honest assessment and notice if your need to be right ever overrides your desire for happiness or your care for others. How much are you accountable for the results in your life, including your relationships? And if your honest answer is less than 100%, then there is room for improvement.
Mr. Right is a bully, who’ll emotionally abuse the heck out of everyone in his vicinity. This is a very dangerous and destructive trait. The worst part is that since Mr. Right is the last one to look in the mirror, he remains ignorant to his problem for the longest time.
If you desire love and deep connection, guard your character vigilantly and eradicate even the slightest symptoms of Mr. Right.
Mistake # 3 Validation Junkie
Do you remember, when you were a boy, you had to ask your mom’s permission to do things? If you were fortunate to have a caring mother, you were trained to get her approval from day one of your life. She decided what you’ll eat, what you’ll wear, and what’s right or wrong for you for many years.
Many men entered adulthood, but kept the habit of dependency on their mother’s stamp of approval. Such a grown up male transfers his mother’s role onto his woman and seeks validation from her. “What do you want to do tonight?” “Can I kiss you?” “What do you think I should wear?” “What should I say to my boss?” etc.
While it’s important to take into consideration your woman’s desires and preferences, depending on her opinion or approval is dangerous. A woman senses when a man clings to her for certainty. This kills her respect and destroys sexual attraction.
Being decisive and respectful at the same time can be confusing, especially during sexual escalation, as concerns like “is she ready to be kissed?” or “what if she thinks I’m sleazy?” come up. The best way to navigate these situations is by being attuned to your woman, paying attention to her reactions (body language, facial expressions, tone of voice), and responding accordingly. Before you ask for permission verbally, make a statement with your words or body language and allow for her response before you move forward. Creating space for clarity is sexy, asking for permission is not.
A woman trusts a leader who’s clear on his intentions and stays in integrity with his values.
Freedom is sexy. A man who is free from the need for approval and fear of rejection, and who claims his power over any circumstance is ultimately attractive. Kindness and care paired with freedom is irresistible!
Own your power, claim your woman, and live your life to the fullest!
Photo by Flickr/Nate Edwards