Men Just Need You to Love Them

I’ve spent a significant portion of my life in relationships. Recently, for the first time, I’ve taken some time to be alone and figure things out.

During this period, I’ve immersed myself in reading about relationships and the psychology of the sexes. I’ve also spent a lot of time observing people and experimenting with the theories I’ve read about. Through these experiences, one realization has consistently stood out to me:

Both men and women crave love, but women often fail to understand that men need love even more. Women are traditionally seen as the nurturers, the ones who give love, connected to the source of life and creation.

Many women complain and wonder why men behave poorly. But ask yourself, do you love your man the way he needs to be loved? You might respond with, “What about me? Shouldn’t he love me too?” Yes, he should, but the quality of his love for you depends largely on you.

Men are like mirrors to us women.

They reflect our actions and emotions. That’s why you often hear that behind every strong man is a strong woman. The woman plays a crucial role in the relationship, and men recognize this.

When you know how to make him feel like a god, he will treat you like a goddess.

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Whenever a friend complains about her man, I always consider that it might not be entirely his fault. If you don’t like the man you’re with, why are you with him? If he’s so bad, why are you tolerating it instead of leaving? Often, the answer is either a fear of being alone or simply a tendency to complain.

Ladies, just like every type of tea has its own unique flavor, so does every man. I don’t like black tea, so I don’t drink it. I don’t complain about it not tasting like green or mint tea; it simply is what it is. If I don’t like black tea, I find a flavor that I do like. Similarly, don’t blame the man for being who he is; instead, find someone who aligns with your preferences.

If you love your man in the way he needs to be loved, he will move mountains for you. Treat him with the same consideration and understanding that you desire for yourself, and you’ll see a positive transformation in your relationship.

The Message

What I want to convey through this article is that men, women, and all people in general are great. You just need to find the right “cup of tea” for yourself.

If both women and men were less afraid of being alone, solitude wouldn’t be seen as lonely or sad.

Instead, it could be a magical experience of self-discovery.

By truly getting to know yourself, and learning how to connect with yourself first, you can then connect with another human being in a meaningful and authentic way.

There’s a significant difference between connection and codependence.

True connection means accepting the other person with their good and bad sides and allowing them to love you in their way. It involves observing whether their way of loving aligns with your needs, rather than trying to force them to love and treat you the way you want.

I’ve had many good relationships with men — those I’ve dated and those who liked me, even if I didn’t feel the same way. I’ve always been kind to all of them and observed whether they were what I was looking for. If they weren’t, I didn’t try to change them; I simply let go.

Many times I have heard the expression “ You are too good to be true” because I have given them what not many women give to men — the freedom to choose, the freedom to be themselves, to feel seen, accepted, understood, and supported. I do not try to change them, they can be exactly who they are with me, but it is then me who decides whether I want them as my partner.

Since adopting this mindset, I’ve had only positive experiences with men. I no longer feel that internal nagging. I do what feels right, and if a man’s behavior isn’t what I want for myself, I either communicate my feelings and observe his reaction or simply move on if it’s a personality trait unlikely to change.

I don’t try to mold someone into what I want, nor do I change myself to suit him. With 8 billion people in the world, there’s definitely someone out there who aligns with what you’re looking for, as long as you have the patience to wait for the right time to meet.

I believe many women struggle to understand men because they choose a partner based on an imaginary checklist or because he triggers a trauma bond by playing manipulative games like hot and cold behavior. Think about it: how easy would it be to love a man if he simply behaved the way you wanted? Just wait until you find the one who does.

So, my lovely women out there, love your men and see what happens. If you find you can’t love him, examine why that is and change your approach. Your life will transform in ways you never imagined.

We are on this earth to be happy and enjoy life, not to struggle and be miserable. Make your decisions right and enjoy your life 🙂

If you like what you read, I invite you to subscribe. Feel free to write to me with topics you would like me to include or if you want to share with me your personal experience. The more knowledge we share with each other the better we can become!

With so much love,

Yours,

Enigma ❤

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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