When two people get along, whether they are married or in a relationship, quarrels are inevitable.
Friction in a relationship is not terrible, what is terrible is that after the conflict you find that your lover is the exhibits ruthless behavior that shows a lack of caring for both you and the relationship.
Here are four ways that behavior after a quarrel can be harmful and even ruthless.
01 He doesn’t take the quarrel seriously, and then he eats and drinks afterwards
After two people quarrel, it is a good thing that people talk about it calmly and check in with each other. It can be relatively easy to reconcile if both people care about the relationship and each other.
The ruthless person’s “not taking a quarrel seriously” means that he will not communicate with you, and he has no intention of making up after quarreling, that is, he does not regard the problem as a problem that needs to be solved. Maybe the aftermath of the quarrel is that he only cares about playing games on his mobile phone, or going out to eat and drink with friends.
One is forward resolution and the other is reverse evasion.
After the quarrel, he probably knew that you must be in a bad mood, but he didn’t think about comforting you, as if it had nothing to do with him whether you were sad or not.
Sometimes he is happy and comfortable, knowing that you will not bother him after the quarrel, and he is more comfortable being by himself.
Such ruthlessness maybe because he doesn’t care about you at all.
02 Continuing the cold war after the quarrel by simply ignoring you
After a quarrel, what is needed is calm, not a cold war.
After the quarrel, maybe he treated you like air and remained silent for two days or half a month. Even if you talk to him, he is cold and deliberately ignores you.
A flurry of anger hit the soft cotton without making a sound for a long time.
Generally speaking, men act in such a ruthless manner for two reasons.
One is that he thinks he is right. As long as you don’t formally admit your wrongs to him, he will never lose face and bow his head to accept your reconciliation, and he will never let go of his machismo to take the initiative to seek reconciliation.
The second is that he doesn’t care who is right and who is wrong, and he doesn’t even bother to argue with you anymore. He just doesn’t care.
With such a man, you don’t have to imagine how affectionate he will be to you in the future. If he doesn’t care about you or the relationship, it’s not a relationship.
03 Blame you for the quarrel
After a quarrel, if he changes his tricks to scold you, he can pull up a whole bunch of things to punish you.
After the quarrel, his attitude was also very aggressive, and he talked about “leave if you can’t live” all day long.
Always showing an “I wish I was alone” look.
He often says that he doesn’t want to get used to you. In fact, in the process of getting along with you, he has never accommodated you. He is always arguing with you and continually causes division between the two of you.
It feels like he has a lot of grievances with you.
Because he has never accepted you from his heart, and there are “unspeakable” reasons that will build up as ongoing resentment.
04 After the quarrel, he acts irritable and takes his anger out at the people around him
In the course of an argument, he can say a lot of nasty things.
The mood may become extremely unstable, the speech is bad, and the behavior after the quarrel is also extremely irritable.
The fire in his heart often vents his anger at the people closest to him.
This person may be his parents, or friends or strangers, or you as a lover, or your child.
Even if he quarrels with outsiders after quarreling with you, if he burns his incompetent anger on his family, it is a sign he is willing to let the anger escalate. When anger continues to escalate, you might have to worry about his anger turning physical.
If he often behaves like this after a quarrel, I advise you to consider making plans to leave and stay safe before things escalate.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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