
We hear the word just about everyday now. Self care and mental health are phrases we throw around like emojis underneath pics on Instagram. It’s trendy for everyone now to be into their mental health (and that’s cool). I’m all in favor of people prioritizing their mental health and recognizing when they’ve been neglecting themselves.
But, as much you hear the phrase, I think very few have any idea or a plan of how they intend to execute what they hope to accomplish. The idea of mental health is taking care of you and yourself first. Making sure you’re in a good mental space, you’re finding peace in your life, you’re present in moments and therefore able to navigate through them.
I’ve been practicing mindfulness now for years. I don’t recall what made me more conscious of it. I don’t believe there was any specific event that took place. To be honest with you, I think it’s been something that’s fortunately always come easy to me. But in recent years, I’ve been able to develop more of an understanding of what it means to be mindful.
I think many people shy away from the idea altogether because mindfulness to them looks like yoga and meditation. Yoga and meditation can be considered forms of mindfulness, I suppose. But yoga is has more of a central focus and needs to be done on it’s own time. The mindfulness I’m speaking of doesn’t require uncomfortable poses or quiet spaces and mood music.
Mindfulness is the ability to present in the moment. To be present in how you feel, mindful of what you’re thinking and what effect those thoughts might have on you and your actions. It seems simple enough. I’m sure as you read this you would say that you’re mindful as well. That mindfulness isn’t really that hard and anyone can do it. While I agree with the second part of that statement, to a point. I disagree with the sentiment that mindfulness is easy.
I think what makes it difficult for many is life is happening so fast and we’re always moving from one thing to the next. Therefore making it that much harder to present in moments as they come. Of course we can make any assumption we’d like to justify the moment. But many of us have no idea why hearing something from someone we love or being cut off in traffic provokes the emotions that we feel. Due to that fact alone, we are unable then to keep the cycle from repeating itself because we never get to the root of the feeling. Sometimes that cycle is something as small as the anxiety you’re feeling when rushing. At worst, it’s returning to toxic relationships. But it is our inability to be mindful and present and process thoughts and feelings that leave us in these cycles.
Are we upset because of the mood we’re in? Are we upset because of who said something to us? Are we upset because we thought differently of that person? There could be a variety of reasons why we’re upset. But being present, being able to process that information in real time. The ability practice asking ourselves tough questions in those moments can not only keep us from undesirable thoughts and actions. But in the extreme, it could help save of our lives.
Mindfulness can also cause discomfort. This is the reason why so many reject it subconsciously. Remember the saying, “don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” Mindfulness is a lot like that and slowly coming to them as you center yourself and practice mindfulness. Mindfulness, a lot like therapy, may reveal to us things we don’t agree with or are hard to digest in the moment. However, the long term impact of practicing mindfulness pays dividends.
Mindfulness keeps us from quitting our jobs when something pisses us off. It keeps us from saying something hurtful to someone we love out of anger. It helps us get over breakups. It helps us reach our goals and accept the parts of life that we can’t control and make the most of the cards we are dealt.
I encourage you to take sometime everyday and ask yourself questions like…
How do I feel today?
How do I feel about how my day went?
Did I like the way they spoke to me?
Am I okay with how I spoke to them?
Is this something I can live with tomorrow and the next day if it doesn’t change?
The answers to these questions are not always easy. However, the challenge and courage in confronting them can help us not only get through our days. But, it can also help us feel optimistic about our future because in mindfulness we are able to weed out much of the anxiety and paranoia associated with the unknown.
Being able to “just be” is sometimes enough. But, the world has a way of reminded us that were are still here and we have to live with everything we do and don’t do while “just being.”
Might as well be mindful.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
