The words stung. On what should have been one of the happiest days of my short life, I felt berated.
Years later I was playing nursemaid to my ailing father. “Why did you say that, Dad?” I asked. “I thought you would have been so proud of me. It had been a very tough year. We had just emigrated to a new country. I had crammed a two-year course into one-year, staying in during recess for extra lessons. That score was magnificent, given the circumstances. If I say so myself!”
“I was joking. It’s just the first phrase that popped out of my mouth before I hugged you.” Dad replied. “I was and still am very proud of you. Don’t you recall me telling everyone how challenging that had been? That was quite a feat. ”
But that is not what I remembered — 35 years later. And all the years in between when I struggled to “be enough”.
The words that we hear in our ear when we are fifteen
Echo in our head when we are fifty.
Our words matter. Even in jest.
Let us take that extra breath and use words that reflect the support, encouragement and inspiration we truly feel.
***
The quote is from my new book, Contours of Courageous Parenting — Tilting Towards Better Decisions. Discover simple strategies for decision-making that can help us and our children. Sign up for the newsletter to find out when it will be available on Amazon.
—
This post was previously published on Medium.
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: iStock