There is a lot of content out there about what you should be doing now to have a better future. There is the obvious stuff about exercising, eating well, and saving money.
What about the inner path of aging?
Here are 5 things that I wish I had done in my twenties that would have made life in my 50’s and beyond easier on the inside.
Get to know your Future Self.
Research shows that the more connected you feel to your future self, the more likely you are to make good, long-term decisions.
They was a study where they sent at-risk teens a message every day from their future self, with a photo of them aged via a photo app. It was incredibly effective at getting them to consider long-term consequences because it helped them feel more connected to their future self.
If you find yourself making some short-sighted, impulsive decisions that aren’t good for your future self, you could try something like this as well. Download one of those make-up face apps because many of them will create a picture of an older you.
Look at it every day. It may freak you out at first. Maybe don’t age it too much, just another 10 years. This will help you feel more connected to your future you and motivate you to make better long-term decisions. Do it for your future self!
Date to Marry.
The most important decision in your life — beyond your job, your company or where you live — is who you do it with. The person by your side will make life heavenly or a living hell.
A lot of people date based on fun or looks or lust, especially in their 20s. Even if you’re not ready to settle down, try looking at everyone you date through a potential spouse filter. What are this person’s values, are they kind, emotionally stable, conscientious, and responsible? If they aren’t any of these things, why waste precious dating time him or her or they?
If you’re lucky enough to come across someone who has these traits, lean in. A lot of people may read this and think this is very old-fashioned advice and not relevant in a world of polyamory and open relationships. But — and I am saying this from experience— life is a lot easier and better with a high-quality — and committed — partner at your side.
Learn to Love Your Flaws
Aging is a lot of things but one key part of getting older is bodily changes. It’s so obvious, but it’s funny how surprising and unsettling it can be to wake up one morning and catch sight of yourself in the mirror and realize you have a few wrinkles or those muscles are not as firm as they used to be.
Being 20 in 2024 is very different than being 20 in the 90’s. Back then, when I was in my 20’s, there was no social media with people parading their “perfect” filtered bodies and faces everywhere. Yes, we know they don’t really look like that but an expectation has been set in your mind perhaps.
Learning to love yourself regardless of how you look will be easier for some than others but it’s good to start strengthening this muscle because you will really need it down the road.
If it’s harder for you or you feel a lot of pressure to look a certain way, start slow and start it now. It just takes practice. You could try some free videos on mindful self-compassion, which is a wonderful practice of loving your entire self — flaws and all.
Be a Lifelong Learner
When I have to fly somewhere, my favorite part of being at the airport is buying random magazines because it exposes me to lots of different and interesting ideas.
So when I’m at an airport (or you could do this at your local library), I’ll pick out a business journal, a backpacking magazine (I’m not a backpacker), or a scientific magazine just to get out of my normal content neighborhoods.
These forays into these other worlds have spawned many new interests.
Is there something you might be very interested in that you don’t know about yet? How could you diversify your interests by exposing yourself to some new ideas?
Start a Consequences Journal
One final idea is to have a method for learning from your mistakes. We’ll all make a lot of mistakes over the next few decades and many of us won’t learn the lesson. How can you make sure you really learn the lessons so you don’t repeat it?
Management guru, Peter Drucker, had a decision journal where he wrote down big decisions that he made and the consequences. He said that it took a few years for it to become worthwhile because it took him that long to really see his patterns of predictable mistakes. We all have them.
So next time you have an important decision to make, write about it in your journal and document the decision you did make. Then, when you see how things turned out, go back to your decision journal and make a note of what happened.
As you do this for a few years, you’ll get to better understand your decision-making habits and hopefully make better decisions as you get older.
Wrapping Up
If you do the different things mentioned in this article, I can’t promise that your 50’s and beyond will be perfect but I know that if you try this, you’ll have a better shot at aging well, at least on the inside.
So don’t forget:
- connect to your future self daily
- avoid getting close to irresponsible people
- become more comfortable with your imperfections
- cultivate hobbies and become a lifelong learner
- actively and consciously learn from your mistakes
Take it from one who has been through it.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: ThisisEngineering RAEng on Unsplash