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I remember cussing God and my bullies, six years ago. Why? Because I thought God let me down and my former work bullies were taking advantage of me.
The truth was that I had given away my personal power. I would have loved skipping all the drama, especially my time in the Mental Health ward.
My whole experience sucked, and I was madder than hell at the world—especially with God because my world was unraveling and all of my old life was pushing me to be greater than I ever expected. But it still sucked!
Some folks will tell you that you shouldn’t ask or pray for your hardships to go away. It’s important to become a person who can handle or overcome the circumstances. Well, suckety.. suckety! It’s the damn truth! When my paycheck was cutoff for retaliation for filing charges against my former management, I received a free learning experience about resiliency and living on a tiny budget.
One becomes either resilient or crazy when there is very little food in their house, and their vehicle is parked because of a lack of funds. I decided that I could not be my worst bully one day longer.
Had I not survived 20 years in the Air Force as a woman?
Did I not overcome sexual abuse as a child?
I asked myself, “what would it take to overcome workplace bullying and horrific retaliation for reporting my management for illegal activities”?
I had numerous things going for me.
The first thing is that I never give up on things I believe in. Second, I am a total nerd. Three degrees weren’t enough for me. So, I earned a fourth degree. Third, I would rather research things than watch TV. So, I wrote up my litigation cases. That often blows other people’s minds, especially attorneys.
It also blew a senior FBI leaders mind. It also got Erin Brockovich’s attention at a 2016 international women’s summit in Phoenix. She asked me to stick around so she could talk to me about my experience. Fifth, I knew that working over 22 years in human resources gave me an advantage.
Did I know everything upfront I wanted to do about being bullied and discriminated? No! I learned so much as I experienced being mistreated. I lost track of time as I researched laws, regulations and more to support my case.
I decided to hold my bullies accountable
For being so vindictive, destroying my career, and my health. It wasn’t all about me either. I remembered all the people who used to follow me to the women’s bathroom so they could corner me and ask me questions about the hiring practices and promotion within this government agency. These people knew I had many years of experience working in human resources.
I remember these conversations vividly. Many of these people had advanced college degrees, like me. A lot of these folks also had the training they needed to get promotions, but we were all watching our management executing an act of nepotism, which is the illegal hiring of family and friends in a government agency.
It would have been nice if everyone who witnessed prohibited personnel practices, reported it to a government watchdog agency, but that was not the case. It takes tremendous backbone to move through fear that you can cut with a knife. When you speak up, you are facing adversity at multiple levels. There is no backing down. There is only one way through hell—keep on moving!
Looking back, I realized I had experienced a gift in ugly wrapping paper. Today’s tribulations are so minor and easy to overcome. It’s because I became the person I needed to become so I could handle everything that comes up in my life. These days I’m singing praises of gratitude, instead of victimhood.
Oh! I did hold my bullies accountable when I took them through the court process. I was able to settle out of court and refused to sign a gag order to be silent, so I could begin helping others who are bullied and discriminated in the workplace. Quite frankly— A fifth-degree could not have helped me more than the experience I went through at the time.
So I am grateful for all the experiences that have made me a much better person. I could not have earned resiliency any other way than to have gone through the opportunities in my life.
See more of my articles on workplace bullying and discrimination.