Separation anxiety can occur at any age. It can be overwhelming to fear people are going to leave you no matter what you do. Unfortunately, you can’t control who stays in your life. Separation anxiety likely has a connection to traumatic events you’ve experienced. As a child, when you have somebody leave you, it leaves an imprint on your life. For example, one of your parents dies. That could impact your fear of abandonment. Another example could be that you moved around a lot, and that created difficulty forming attachments. You’re worried about keeping people in your life where you currently live. You may be fearful about people leaving. Here’s how trauma can impact separation anxiety and what you can do about it.
Attachment impacts our lives from a young age
When you are a child, your instinct is to attach to your caregivers. If you feel secure in your attachment, it’s easy to separate from your guardians. You may recall being in the younger grades in school and seeing a child who has difficulty separating from their guardian. They’re crying and holding onto their parents’ sleeves or legs. That is how some children cope with separation anxiety. For adults, it manifests differently. Imagine you had a best friend who suddenly decided they did not want to be friends with you anymore. That is a traumatic experience and can make you anxious about forming intimate bonds with others. Maybe you had a romantic connection that suddenly went wrong, and you had an abrupt breakup. That could cause separation anxiety in future romantic connections. If you have separation anxiety, it’s important to understand how it’s impacting you in your life so that you can address the issue.
Separation anxiety impacts you mentally and physically
Children with separation anxiety can suffer from nightmares. They worry that their caregiver or someone close to them will leave, and they can’t stop thinking about it. Another thing that can happen is that they suffer from physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach aches. Worrying about separating from a caregiver can cause a person physiological discomfort. These physical sensations are hard to ignore. You’re constantly reminded of the fear of abandonment. This can happen in children and with adults.
Adults with separation anxiety
Those with separation anxiety can struggle to communicate in friendships. They check in with their friends constantly. They’re afraid that their friend may decide abruptly that they are leaving them. Those with separation anxiety may fear that they are annoying people with their behavior but can’t seem to stop. They worry that something that they say or do will push people away. That is a common fear for people with separation anxiety. If you’re worried that something you do causes people to leave, remember that you cannot control what other people do. You have control over your behavior and how you connect to others. You can be a loyal friend and hope that the people around you will appreciate your friendship. You will do more harm than good trying to control whether people stay in your life or not.
Therapy and separation anxiety
If you have separation anxiety as an adult, it’s helpful to look back at what traumatic events may have caused this in your life. These traumas have a significant impact on how we relate to people in our current day lives. You can explore these findings in therapy. Therapists can help you understand why you’re afraid of people leaving you and help you delve into your past. You can learn more about separation anxiety by visiting Mind Diagnostics. There you can learn about the symptoms of separation anxiety and what you can do to help yourself. Whether you visit a therapist in person or online, it can help to talk with someone about your symptoms of separation anxiety. It can be painful to constantly worry or ask others for reassurance about whether or not they will stay. When you get emotional insight into your separation anxiety, you can start to feel better and separate more easily from people.
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