Divorce is one of the most stressful events in one’s life. When you married your significant other, you thought you’d be together forever, but life has had other ideas. Even if you ended things on a more amicable note, divorce is still a tough process.
Because it’s so stressful, many people turn to therapy to help them cope. When searching for a new therapist, look for one who specializes in divorce. In this post, we’ll explain what a divorce therapist does and why you should see one if you’re getting a divorce.
What is a Divorce Therapist?
At first glance, the term “divorce therapist” seems simple enough. It’s a therapist who specializes in the divorce and the topics surrounding it. However, the more you look at it, the more you realize that divorce counseling is a little more complex than you’d think. Mainly, there are different types of divorce counselors or therapists. You can divide them into two main camps: pre and post.
As you probably know, a divorce isn’t something that happens overnight. The period between you telling your spouse that you want a divorce to you actually getting one can be long. For some couples, it can take months or even years for the divorce to happen.
During that period, there’s a lot of unrest. It’s difficult to talk to your spouse without wanting to shout. You may not know where to begin with how to handle the divorce. This is where a pre-divorce counselor comes in.
Some of their services include:
- Giving your marriage one final look. Sometimes, it’s possible for you to save the marriage. Some issues are repairable, and many couples often want a divorce out of anger. When things calm down and a counselor is there to help you two talk it out, you may realize that getting a divorce isn’t what you should do.
- Helping you to prepare your family for the news. For example, if you have kids, a pre-divorce counselor can help you explain the process in a way you can understand.
- A counselor can help the two of you discuss the process in a civil manner.
- The pre-divorce counselor can teach you how to cope with any other problem that comes with a divorce.
This is when the divorce has been finalized. While the storm may be over, the aftermath of the storm isn’t.
Someone who seeks post-divorce counseling may be having a hard time picking up the pieces of a divorce. Besides the financial pieces, someone may have some feelings towards their ex. They may miss their ex, or still resent them. This is a case where you may need a post-divorce therapist to help you with any feelings that you may have.
Sometimes, you may have spent years with your spouse, and it’s especially important that you find a divorce therapist who can help you adjust to a normal life.
Signs That You May Need A Divorce Therapist
Divorce is a process that many people go through, and many people are able to do so without any therapy, or at least a minimal amount. However, there are some surefire signs that you may need to seek help from a therapist, and this includes:
You Feel Intense Anger
It’s common for someone to feel a little bit of resentment towards their former spouse after a relationship, but if that anger is affecting your life, and you can’t seem to get the rage out of your head, it’s time to speak to a counselor or a therapist.
You Lose Interest In What You Used to Love
After a divorce, what you used to love no longer seems fun. Sometimes, it’s because it reminds you of your ex. Other times, it could be a sign of depression. Either way, this is a reason to see a therapist.
You’re Hard on Yourself
After a divorce, there may be some regrets. Chances are, you may have had some blame for the divorce happening. However, if you’re always self-loathing or feel like no one deserves to love you, this may be a job for a divorce therapist.
It’s Difficult to Recover
Whether you’re financially affected and have to live with your family, or you’re unsure of where to go next, this may be a time to talk to a divorce therapist. A therapist cannot wave a magic wand and get you a better job, but they can talk to you about any concerns you have in regards to picking up the pieces.
You Have Anxiety, Depression, or Related Symptoms
It’s common for you to have signs of depression and anxiety after a divorce. You may find it hard to fall asleep at night. Your heart may race at times. It may be difficult to smile again. If left untreated, these occasional feelings can evolve into something bigger. This is an important reason why you may want to seek divorce therapy.
You Can’t Talk Civilly About Your Ex-Spouse
After a divorce, it’s important you and your ex-spouse be civil, especially for your kids. You don’t want to badmouth your ex in front of your kids or get into fights when you do have to talk to each other.
A divorce counselor or therapist can be the perfect mediator for the job. While the therapist may not make the two of you best friends again, they can help make conversations civil, at the very least.
Divorce is not a fun period of your life, and it’s a time when you should seek help if you need it. Doing the process alone can be overwhelming, and it doesn’t make you weak to seek help from a therapist for a divorce, or for anything for that matter. Talk to a therapist today and see what they can do for you. They may be able to help.
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