“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.”
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You’re a hardworking man, slaving away at your profession. Spending hours, days, and years to be the very best.
But nobody cares. Most times, you can’t tell what’s working and what’s not working because all your hard work isn’t paying off.
It’s your right to think what you want. But don’t strangle me yet.
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And maybe you clicked on this headline to find answers. I’d be arrogant to claim I have answers. But maybe I’ll be arrogant to say this, but I’ll say it anyways: You can never truly be the “best” at anything.
I’m sorry.
Nobody has told you that before. Or maybe they were just naysayers trying to discourage you. You probably think I’m just trying to discourage you from chasing your dreams.
It’s your right to think what you want. But don’t strangle me yet. Let me explain why trying to be the best is silly. Kindly erase the “if you think it you can do it” principle from your mind–at least for now.
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1. You can never better some people.
That’s a harsh fact. With all the personal development and self-help (call it self-growth if you may) advice out there, it doesn’t get any easier.
And sometimes the sense of guilt you feel when you don’t achieve your goal is overwhelming. Because you feel you’re a failure who never does anything well.
Let me begin with an illustration Jon Morrow, CEO of Boost Blog Traffic, used with his readers in this post. I’ll quote him directly.
“Think of it like this. Let’s say you like to play a little US football.
If I handed you a helmet right now and pushed you into the middle of a professional game, how do you think you would do?
I’ll tell you how you would do: you would get your ass handed to you. Those guys are genetic freaks who have prepared their entire lives to do battle with other genetic freaks. You’ll never be able to do what they do, no matter how hard you try. In fact, even trying could be deadly.”
I love soccer. I could train hard day in day out for many years. Will I play better? Sure, I will. But will I become or outdo Pele or Maradona? No, I will not.
Because they were so talented they could do stuff other soccer players couldn’t do. The mere thought of matching or outshining them would take the joy out of my playing soccer.
Naturally, some people are better at <insert skill here> than you. And you know the worst part? They will always be better than you if they put their talents to good use. So stop trying to outdo them.
Some people will always be better mathematicians, artists, musicians, writers than you’ll ever be.
And that’s okay.
“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” – Unknown
It’s that simple. And difficult.
Let’s say I’m in a 100m race. The runner in the first position had a personal time of 9.5s. I came third with a personal time of 10.4s.
My goal is beating the first runner. Can I beat him without beating my own personal time of 10.4s (assuming he’ll always run 100m in 9.5s)?
I can’t. If I’m focused on beating my personal time, I could even beat the first runner’s time because his time or an improvement on it is still better than mine. Always outdo yourself first. That’s when you can outdo anybody else. End of story.
2. Best is relative.
Your goal may be being the best in the world at <insert field here>. It may be being the best in your country. It may be being the best in your state.
Best in California is not always best in Connecticut. Best in Canada is not always best in Germany. Best in Bollywood isn’t best in Hollywood.
Standards of measuring who or what is best differ from place to place. It’s not always fair to judge yourself by another person’s standards. More often than not, you’ll skew things for yourself.
There will always be debates about who is or was better in a particular field. Think Jackie Chan and Jet Li, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo. “Best” is all in our heads.
I can’t judge a writer simply by the amount of comments his post receives. I can’t judge a writer simply by the total “shares” of his post. I can’t judge a writer based on how many books he sells after a post, or how many new clients he gets for his business because of his post.
You may think differently.
It’s not fair to compare a native English writer to a writer who speaks English as a second language, no matter how good the latter is. I believe it’s fair this writing competition has two categories, one for the native English writer and the other for the English-as-second-language-writer.
It’s not fair to compare my soccer skills to Lionel Messi’s. He can do things even professional soccer players can only dream of. And I’m not even a professional soccer player.
It’s not fair to compare a fairly new blogger to Seth Godin. It’s the reason Jon Morrow said “he’s the blogging equivalent of a 350-pound lineman who can run a mile in under 4 minutes. In other words, he’s so freakishly talented he can do things nobody else can.”
Don’t be depressed
Chances are, before reading this post, you earnestly believed you could be the best <insert profession> under heaven. And you felt this post would help you do that.
I sincerely hope you’re not thinking: “Goodbye my dreams, I’ll remember you fondly forever.” You can still be the best. Just not the way you’ve been going about it. You need to beat yourself first before you can beat anybody else.
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The bottom line.
Being the best isn’t about trying to outdo others or comparing yourself to gods.
It’s about you.
Because as long as you live and are still human, there is always room for improvement.
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It’s possible the man you are right now is not capable of being the best. Your lifestyle, your friends, your environment, or your schedule are sucking the creativity right out of you.
If you want to be the best, you have to change. Surround yourself with smart people, get the best information you can, practice, and cut out everything else distracting you in your life.
You won’t always feel the improvement instantly, but you will see it over time. You’ll still be you, but a better version of yourself.
Because as long as you live and are still human, there is always room for improvement. You can always get better.
You will see results.
Not because you’re insanely talented. Not because you got fortunate. Not because you cheated. But because you’re self-disciplined. Slowly and painfully, you’d have transformed into the best person you can be.
You may decide to sulk and give up. You may decide to settle for mediocrity. You may decide to work harder to improve yourself.
It’s your choice.
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Photo: Flickr/ Luis Sarabia
This is awesome man. Life is bigger than being the best ultimately, at least in my opinion haha. “Have a heart of love and you will always be the best”. Thanks Iniobong !!!