Aleasa Word Speaks About The F.U.R.Y. System™ for Kids’ Success
There are many definitions to what the word success means. Some equate it to wealth and others equate it to social influence or simply being happy. As parents we try as much as we can to help our kids lead happy, healthy, successful lives. Most of us are always looking for new ways to do things better or differently as no two kids are the same. Below are some tips on a skill set that can help all kids succeed. These skills are at the core of what it takes to keep them happy and healthy but also allow them to identify success according to their own barometer. Teach children to live with a program I’ve developed called the F.U.R.Y. System™
- Forgiving Spirit – We often speak of forgiveness but we don’t always include our own forgiveness in the conversation. It’s hard to forgive others sometimes but it is even harder to forgive ourselves when we fall short of what we or those who matter to us set as the expectation of us in life. Self forgiveness is key in helping children succeed and become adults who are resilient. This one skill alone is highly indicative of one’s ability to reduce self-imposed barriers to success because we think we’ll just mess us based on our history or we are defined by our mistakes.
- Unconditional Respect for Self – Respect is a word thrown around like a baseball at a stadium. It is one of the most used and most mis-used and most misunderstood words we have. It has a different definition for each person who used it. Often times, when a person feels disrespected it is because their definition does not line up with the definition of the person who they feel disrespected them. As it pertains to respect of self, this is a major component to accepting who we are and what we stand for. No matter what the circumstance and who does what to us, it would be in our best interest to stay in line with behaviors that allow us to respect who we are. When we fall short (which we will) the forgiving spirit comes to the rescue. Unconditional respect for self simply means you will behave towards others and yourself in a way that is respectful of individual values, beliefs and person regardless of whether another’s beliefs are different than yours. You can disagree but still be respectful and in turn show the respect on behalf of YOU and what you stand for. You can also respect your body, your mind and your spirit which are important too. Teaching kids this skill is important.
- Real living mind – Ontological arrogance is growing in today’s world. Many believe that their perception of the world is the way things really are and anything different is simply wrong. No matter if you are highly educated not this is one of the easiest states of mind for people to UNKNOWINGLY fall into. This mindset is often the culprit behind making us believe people need to meet expectations in life that we often can’t meet or struggle with ourselves. There is nothing wrong with having standards but let’s get real about them. An example would be someone berating another person for smoking cigarettes. As much as we know there is factual data regarding the detriment of smoking whether or first hand or second, this is a habit that is hard to break for those who do it. Making someone feel bad about it does not help. Subsequently, when we look into our own box of secrets, we all have some habit we wish we didn’t have or one that took us years to break including over eating, not exercising, or even being chronic speeders. All of those can produce awful results. Get real about life and realize NO ONE is perfect including YOU! Teach this to your kids in a way that promotes acceptance of people not necessarily the negative behaviors people sometimes have.
- Yes Living – They say when you say yes to others too much you are saying no to yourself. There is a balance between being selfish and self-preserving. I remember thinking because I was fortunate I had to always give to others. The problem was I gave so much I had nothing left and I was emotionally, physically and financially drained. A friend brought to mind a scripture regarding “my cup runneth over.” The light bulb came on. What was in the cup was for me and the spillover was for others. I could still share, still give but left enough for myself so I didn’t burn out and that includes quiet time for self. I also learned how to make sure I wasn’t being taken advantage of either. Children are taught to share in pre-school. In elementary and middle school as they age they can become selfish as they realize they are independent. Teaching them to balance the two can help them grow leaps and bounds academically, emotionally and financially.
There are a lot of things we can do to help our children, but also things we can do to hinder them. Remember life is not perfect and neither are you as a parent. Giving kids these basic tools can help in any arena they find themselves in.
Photo: Kyle Taylor/Flickr