Looking at my zeroes—my starting point—over the years, many of those zeroes were related to what I am not. Fortunately, over my years on Planet Earth, I‘ve grown more forgiving, more patient in “What I’m not”. What’s the trade-off? What’s the possibility in “What I’m not”?
I’ll never do the 180 degree, one-handed dunk that 6’ 9”, 250 pound Lebron James does on the basketball court. Yet, I’ll take down to the mat the 250-pound dude coming to punch my head by applying kotegaeshi, Aikido joint lock.
It’s extremely unlikely that I’ll date a super-model’ on Match dot com. Technically, my probability is non-zero, yet approaching zero. I’m not handsome. I’m short. I’m not a millionaire. Oh, well.
Yet, there might be some woman on Match dot com who wants to meet a guy who is the Sensei dedicated to helping others invent their next greater-than version in Aikido. Or a dude who has a passion for writing about learning to love and forgive ourselves in the bigger picture. Or maybe a guy who just loves movies, whether they’re big-budget action movies or independent romantic comedies. All possible in what I am not.
Growing up as I did at home, my dad’s voice became mine: “Jon, you’re not good enough. You’re weak.” I spent half a lifetime trying to prove that I was strong, not weak like what my dad thought. When I was 7 years old, Dad yelled at me, “You’re just like her [Mom]!” No, that wasn’t fresh props coming from dad. Just saying. That being said, I soon got that being stronger would never be strong enough. That’s just human design.
So when I began training with Mizukami Sensei in Aikido, he didn’t ask me to be like him. He wanted me to make Aikido work for me. Sensei would say, “Make it work for you.” He said, “Just train.” He granted me the freedom, space to just be me. All he wanted me to do was be the best that I could be, by putting in the work.
Back 30 years ago, was it possible given my Zero that I would become a Sensei and Yondan, 4th-degree black belt? Hell, no. Rather, it was very unlikely. I have nothing, but mad love and respect for the late Mizukami Sensei: He always saw the greater within me, when I didn’t see that. With Sensei, I invented the possible from “What I was not”. In the bigger, bigger picture: That’s the profound possibility in our humanity.
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My best friend from high school John lives in Tokyo with his amazing family. He and I became huge fans of the CBS streaming series “Star Trek: Picard”. “Picard” has evolved as our space of fun amidst these “interesting times” of the COVID-19 worldwide pandemic. That all being said, John and I have always been “Star Trek” fans.
In the original “Star Trek” series and movie narrative with William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy as Captain James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, both were defining others in the sense that one defined the inherent greater-than version of the other. In that sense, John has always been that “other” for me. I hope that I’ve been able to provide the same. I have nothing, but mad love and respect for my ‘Brother’ John. We’ve been friends for well over 40 years.
In the late “Star Trek” Creator Gene Roddenberry’s mythology, Spock was the son of two worlds. His Father Sarek was Vulcan. His Mother Amanda was Human. The Vulcan are the race of beings that valued logic, intellect, and discipline as the Way of Life. Yes, they possessed deep emotions like us. Yet, they discovered their freedom and measure of peace through choosing logic.
The half-human, half-Vulcan Spock was ‘not human’, at least by definition. Yet, in the classic “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” Leonard’s Spock sacrifices his life to save the Enterprise and his best friend Jim. Jim tearfully asks Spock, “Why?” Spock replies, “The needs of the many, over the needs of the few.” Jim says, “Or the one…”
Before he passes away, Spock tells Jim, “I have been, and always shall be your friend…” That’s unconditional love, the noblest in humanity, from Spock, who is ‘not human’. That is possible in the space of “What I am not.”
“Star Trek: Picard” furthers the “Star Trek: Next Generation” mythology. Reprising their iconic roles as Admiral Jean-Luc Picard and Commander Data are the amazing Patrick Stewart and Brent Spiner. Writer and Director Akiva Goldman’s transformational narrative culminates in the sacrifice of Jean-Luc’s life to “save the galaxy” once again. Part of his journey honors his dear friend Data, who is an android, a synthetic, albeit nearly human.
In the “Next Generation” mythology, Data was loyal to the crew of the Enterprise and to its Captain Picard. In the bigger picture, Data sought true sentience, to be human. In the history of “Picard”, Data sacrificed his life to save his Captain, to save his dear friend Jean-Luc over 20 years ago.
In Jean-Luc’s death, through the cyber-conscious transitional realm, he reunites with his late friend Data. Although, he never said “I love you” to Data while he was alive, he always did. He tells Data that he loves him. Data tells Jean-Luc that he knew that he loved him, albeit it’s impossible for Data to experience love being a machine.
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That landed for me, as well. While Sensei was alive, we never said to each other, “I love you.” Yet, we knew that we both had mad love and respect for one another. Sensei and I were “Old School” Japanese: We were brought up taught to keep our emotions under the surface. Displays of love were not impossible. Rather, such displays were frowned upon. I guess the fictional Vulcan and Japanese share much in common. More than just saying.
John offered his amazing insight about “Star Trek”: Spock and Data were “the most human”, even though they were not. They created the possibility of humanity in “not human”.
Looking back, I recalled my conversations with Sensei in our years together. Sensei told me once, “You’re a better teacher than me.” That was love.
I used to go home to Hawaii for Christmas and New Year’s every year from Los Angeles. Sensei would shake my hand, saying, “Have a good trip. Say ‘Hi’ to your Mom for me.” That was love in the space of “what was not”.
Recalling the World of “Star Trek”, Spock said, “There are always possibilities.” Yes, there always are, especially when it comes to love. Just saying.
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