Ryan Hall shares his own practice of living with his feelings, whatever may come.
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I’ve heard and seen this so much, and I believe it’s true. The breakthroughs that you’re in process with are the breakthroughs your clients and audience are soon to find.
In this space last week, I shared some healthy ways that men can get in touch with their emotions. Granted, I used a silly metaphor to get my point across, but the point was that you can’t hide your emotions.
Today, let’s take another step forward down Feelings Road.
This trip may be a little scary to think about. Feel your feelings, gentlemen. As scary as it can seem, feel your feelings. Don’t apologize for your feelings. Share your feelings.
Get in touch with your feelings.
I’m practicing this myself. And let me tell you, it’s a little draining. It’s a little scary.
My prevailing feeling over the past few days has been fear. I am scared. I am scared about my future. I’ve lived in Alabama my entire life, and I’m moving to New York within a couple months. I’m scared about that. I’m scared that my dreams and aspirations are unrealistic and crazy.
My default position is to fight these feelings. I don’t like feeling scared or fearful. For that matter, who enjoys being scared or fearful?
I’m practicing being with these feelings. I’m practicing expressing these feelings of fear with people who I trust.
As of this writing, the jury is still deliberating how this practice is going. My gut feeling is that this is going well, but I am not 100% sold yet.
Speaking of practice, I’ve got a few practice areas I’d like for you to take on. If feeling your feelings is something you struggle with, I believe these are some ways to allow you to un-stick your feelings.
And I have to add, I’m in process on this as well.
- Take a few minutes every day to listen to what your heart is telling you. Your feelings will lead the way.
- If you’re feeling a certain way, practice being with those feelings. Feelings aren’t good or bad. They are what they are.
- Don’t judge yourself for your feelings. Don’t compare your feelings to another. Your feelings aren’t any less or more appropriate than another person’s.
- Ultimately, as an up-and-coming British rock and roll musician named McCartney famously sang “let it be.” It’ll be okay.
Feeling what you feel is crucial to growth. And I know a lot of men (yours truly at the top of the list) are uncomfortable with feeling how we feel. Allow yourself to feel how you feel.
I bring this up for a very important reason. While feelings like fear and worry can be a drag, they open you up to the positive feelings. The more facility you have with these so-called negative feelings, the better you’ll be able to experience the positive feelings.
Think about it. The more you allow yourself to feel sadness and fear, the better you’ll be able to accept joy, happiness, and love.
Whenever you feel feelings that you may consider negative, counteract it with lots of the opposite feeling.
For example, the fear I expressed earlier. The opposite of fear is love. I have been counteracting my fear with a ton of self-love. I’ve been doing a lot of stuff for me. My workouts at the gym have been for me. My coaching marketing work hasn’t been for a goal. It has been for me. I’ve been showing myself a lot of love and I’m getting love returned to me tenfold.
I get it. Feeling your feelings isn’t easy. It’s pretty difficult. Especially since so many men are well-practiced in stuffing our feelings down to avoid showing them, this isn’t an easy thing to do. And I cannot stress this enough, I’m in process on this as well.
The end result of this work is a heart that’s more open and receptive to the good things in life.
If you’re looking to shift your relationship to feelings, I’d love to support you in this. Connect with me at [email protected] or on my website at team-ryan.team.
Men, if you’re in a place of negative feelings, remember these four words: this too shall pass. Not unlike a kidney stone…or a fart.
Photo by Natalie Jordan