Growing up, I wanted to be Spiderman.
As my alter ego, I would pretend to jump from one couch to another, shooting my webs and making that “Pew! Pew!” noise, as I flicked my wrist shooting out imaginary webs. I would throw my body against the wall, face pressed, tightly, as I would pretend to stick.
My kid brother was the de-facto ‘villain’. I would tie him up with a belt (aka webbing) and demonstrate swift justice via a headlock or kick to the stomach.
I dreamt that one day, I, too, would be a hero like Spidey.
Around six years old, I was riding in the front seat of my mom’s red Firebird when someone rear-ended us, while at a stop sign. Wearing no seatbelt, my forehead smacked right into the dashboard. Suffice to say, I had a huge lump on my noggin and was crying, uncontrollably.
That was until a Sheriff came and let me sit in his patrol car to look at all his law enforcement gadgetry. From then on, I knew what I was destined to be a hero…with a badge.
Fast forward several decades later. After many, many failed attempts at becoming a police officer, I ended up working as an executive assistant, writing speeches for a living. Somehow, my dream of becoming a hero with a badge never manifested.
I must admit, when the realization came to me that I would never become a police officer, I became depressed. My dreams shattered and I deemed myself a failure: the dream of being a hero…died.
Wikipedia defines a hero as a real person or a main fictional character of a literary work, who–in the face of danger–combats adversity through feats of ingenuity, bravery, or strength…. who performs great deeds or selfless acts for the common good instead of the classical goal of wealth, pride, and fame.
Society glorifies and emulates its heroes. There are those fictional heroes in the form of comic book characters that come to life on the big screen. There are real-life heroes, such as World War II American Army Medic Desmond Doss, ‘baseball great’ Jackie Robinson, Mother Teresa, and others who lived extraordinary lives that we hold in high regard and want to emulate.
Maybe, at one time, you wanted to be a hero, that example of sacrifice, someone with extraordinary talents and abilities used to help others, going beyond your limits to achieve that elusive greatness we all want to achieve. Admirable.
I Googled the term, “Unleashing the Hero Within” and within a second over 3 million hits came up. Turns out, like me, others out there strive to find that hero within themselves, too, waiting for an unleashing.
But, when I look around at the world, there are so few heroes among us. What happened to us along the way?
Somehow, we seem to have forgotten that being a hero is not just about our position or status in life. It’s not what others think about us. It’s about who we are as human beings, at our core.
I used to think that being a hero required some overt, extravagant sacrifice, but, really, it’s something else.
It’s those tiny moments when we put away our selfishness and, instead, become self-less. Or those instances where we have every right to strike back at someone, who’s wronged us, but turn the other cheek, instead. It’s when you have the world at your feet but sacrifice a little of it when you see someone with less than you suffering.
Quite frankly, being a hero isn’t easy. At their core, remain willing to self-sacrifice and suffer the consequences of doing so with no expectation of reciprocation. Maybe that’s why there’s so few of us who are able to unleash the hero within. We hold ourselves back because—deep down—fear reigns, as does selfishness.
In order to find my inner hero, my concept of a “true hero” needed redefining. For me, clarity occurred upon the arrival of my firstborn child. Without a doubt, I knew that my definition needed to change.
Where existed this idea that a hero must put on a brave face and show no emotion, reshaped into understanding that hidden strengths exist through my tears and empathy. From the idea that a hero must be first and lead the way, came the idea that humility is a key to leadership. Lastly, knowing all the answers and needing to control everything evolved into accepting my lack of omnipotence and seeing my “brokenness” as relatable, not flawed.
Like my dream of being a police officer, all my ideas of what defined a hero died, too.
Today, like you, I have a choice. I can allow my inner hero to sit and hide or do the hard work to unleash him. While I haven’t achieved the latter yet, he does come out from time to time.
Finding my inner hero has been a journey that has had its ups and downs. Luckily, I finally feel like I’m on the right track.
Regardless of our journeys’ challenges, transforming into the best selves that Destiny has designed—selfless, kind, humble, full of hope, and giving—is worth any–and all–of the effort. Truly the stuff heroes are made of.
Nowadays, thanks to Marvel Studios, I get to watch my childhood hero up on the movie screen. Despite his self-doubt, Spiderman (aka Peter Parker) still desires to serve others and make a difference in their lives. He reminds me of someone I know…Oh, yeah, me!
Looks like we’re both on the path to finding and unleashing the hero within.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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