I love my wife and baby more than anything in the world
But I don’t expect that to mean everything will be smooth sailing. Still, I don’t care how bad the argument is, or how upset one of us gets.
Because we love each other, and being together is the only thing that makes sense to us. That’s what matters most. Problems are going to arise, no matter how hard we try. It’s just a fact about human nature. But we’ll get through it. That’s part of our resolution.
People who have one or two, or ten failed relationships or marriages, and then finally make one work, have come to realize through experience that they don’t have to give up on people they love when things aren’t working.
That’s something that can be figured out sooner. That’s what couples who stay together the first time know. Just because you don’t see the friction and the struggle from the outside doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
The grass on the other side is not often greener — not really
People usually end up together because they love each other, and they often break up for similar reasons to one another. All couples face trials and tribulations. If both people love each other enough, and are willing to put in the effort, they can be happy together.
I have never walked away from a relationship.
Every relationship I had, there were some problems. It’s because people aren’t perfect; they are complicated, and flawed. Communication is inherently difficult; couples will talk past each other, and then when emotions get involved, suddenly there are huge misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Don’t be too entitled and idealistic about romance. Yes, love is a beautiful thing, it can be like the movies and fairy tales at times. But that’s not all it is. Some level of conflict is part of getting to know the person, and some degree of testing will ultimately strengthen your bond and trust in the relationship.
It’s hard work sometimes, but well-worth it.
Now I’m in a happy marriage, and it’s great
For the first time, I found another person willing to work with me through whatever issues may confront us. Of course we do everything we can to be preventive about negatives, but some problems are unavoidable.
I’m talking about potentially healthy relationships, where people truly like and love each other, and are able to maintain mutual respect.
If you’re sure you’re looking at an abusive or unfaithful relationship that would be a horror to continue, I’m not trying to talk you into redeeming that.
This is just for regular people like me who are in love, but realize that relationships go through rough patches. You may very well keep getting into problems, but the hope is that you can stop repeating old patterns, and consistently move forward constructively, towards growth.
When it gets hard, just try to remember why you got together in the first place.
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This post was previously published on Hello, Love.
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