During these brief 25 years, I have lived, I have seen people judge me, bully me, curse at me, call me all kinds of names, and finally, misunderstand where I come from, without even remotely trying to know me.
Does that affect how I feel inside?
Absolutely yes. However, instead of making me bitter and depressed, it made me courageous and angry at the world. Don’t worry. It didn’t make me angry enough to blow up on people’s faces. But it did give me that fiery spark I needed to start mastering words to the finest.
And look at me now. Living on the edge of geniality and insanity while working with major million-dollar brands and yet still finding time to express my rawest thoughts.
Take them as they are or watch them as they grow.
Because no matter how you cut it, I am determined to find a place in this world. A beautiful and peaceful place where I can finally rest, knowing that I am loved, accepted, and looked at with pride instead of envy and jealousy.
That God damn jealousy eh!
I mean, cmon bruh, why you gotta hate on a brother for him being successful by all the good means? Why the hell can’t we all just get along and instead of bringing each other down, help each other reach new heights? Why does it have to be so difficult?
All I’ve ever wanted ever since I was a young, brittle soul, was to see people happy for each other, with each other. It hurts me, to reminisce on all the past unnecessary trauma I went through, and all the bullshit I took and the attack from others, just because I dared to dream a bit higher than the place where I grew up in.
Don’t y’all want to get out of there? Don’t y’all have hopes and aspirations? Who the fuck is to say whether a dream is impossible to achieve or not. Why is that laughable?
As I sit here, waiting for my plea day to get the hell out of this man-made, prison-like state, listening to my half so-called songs I just did for fun when I was 20. Damn, I had a bad accent back then. But still, the same yearning passion to put words together in such a way that the human mind, both conscious and unconscious, dances in a common rhythm.
Messy thoughts I guess. But hey, it’s just my world. Beautiful chaos. Fiery lake. Divine sin. Illogical perfection. Stupid common sense. Smart dilemma. Hateful Love.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
