Amy Sea’s list in Crows Feet about what she likes about being 50, lit some spark in my spirit and I just had to share my own list. Some of her points were so spot on, I used them verbatim. She was gracious enough to allow me.
Then, I asked my writing bestie,
for her perspective on being middle-aged.
“Let’s do this together!” I texted her. “It’s fun and short and we should be counting our blessings,” I added.
“Sure. Send it to me,” she said.
This is Amy Sea’s article
Here’s my list of why I like being 50 today. It may be a different list tomorrow. Lists change:
- I’m not dead yet
- I’m further away from the selfish, stupid asshat who did dangerous things that I managed to survive
- I haven’t passed out drunk since high school
- Half of the world is younger than me and half of the world is older — so. I can feel young or old depending on who I hang out with
- When I miss my grandma, I can look in the mirror
- I no longer wear an underwire bra. I wear a sports bra or no bra. I cannot see the point of imprisoning my breasts or altering their outward appearance for passers-by
- No one’s called me a slut in years — not to my face
- When people are boring, I give myself permission to turn around and talk to someone else. If they’re also dull, I move down the line. Life is shorter than it used to be
- I can swear as much as I want to and still sound smart
- I’ve known my oldest friends for 40 years
My list:
- I’m not dead yet.
- I’m still doing stupid things.
- I haven’t passed out drunk since high school. Peach Schnapps will never touch my lips ever again.
- According to actuarial life tables from the Social Security Administration (are you asleep yet?), I have a .006360 chance of dying at 53 years of age. I’ve got some living to do.
- I look in the mirror and scowl more.
- I still wear plenty of underwire bras since these boobs aren’t going to lift themselves.
- I call myself a slut, and I like it!
- When people are boring, annoying, stupid, judgmental, etc, etc. I move on.
- I’ve always sworn like a sailor. I’m good with it. Fuck you.
- I’ve known my bestie for almost 30 years.
- I am more myself than at any other time of my life.
1. I’m not dead yet, but there are days I wish I’d never been born.
2. I’ll never stop doing stupid things.
3. If falling asleep at 9:30 after two glasses of wine is passing out, I’ve passed out a lot since high school.
4. The Life Expectancy Calculator (Canadian) estimates 80.6 as my life expectancy, so I feel like I’ve got 30 years left to do more than I did in my first 50.
5. When I look in the mirror, I see someone much older than I feel, looking back at me.
6. I love showing off my boobs, so I put them out there: high, front, and center, and I don’t care how that happens. I love knowing men are trying to avoid looking at them.
7. If people knew what my hobbies were, calling me a slut would be tame.
8. I have never done well with boring, but I’m better at diverting without insulting now.
9. As I used to tell the kids — a little bit of cursing and swearing helps get the job done. It still does.
10. I’ve known my oldest friend since we were seven. She’s the only one who knows I’m stepping out.
11. Knowing we only get one shot at this life makes doing what I do easier.
Even though I’m “older” and “past my prime,” I don’t give a rat’s ass about what society thinks of me. I am writing my truth. Same with Teresa and Amy, I think. It’s the IDGAF phenomenon. If there are plenty of blessings in being middle-aged, that’s the main one.
Thank you,
for letting me use your story. Thank you,
for contributing.
What are your top tens dear readers?