Can you tell a cheater in a crowd?
Are they breathing?
That’s my test.
But seriously.
Are they more fashionable? Better dressed? More attractive? Maybe. And maybe not.
They are confident.
Probably more sexual than most. But maybe they hide it well. When I met my affair partner, I wouldn’t have guessed he was as libidinous as he was. He looked so conservative in his forest green Barbour jacket with the brown corduroy collar.
“This guy can’t keep up with me,” I thought. “No way.”
Well, appearances can lie.
He could.
Did he know I was the mistress of the Scarlett Letter? No.
I dress like a suburban mom most of time. The requisite yoga pants and stud earrings. I’m not flashy. No long gel nails. No fake eyelashes. I’m natural and low key. I can break out the sultry when I want to, but I keep it mostly under wraps.
What I am is inherently sensual. And I think most of us having affairs have that sexy secret glow. As my guy says, “we’ve lost the loser juice” of a dead bedroom. We finally know our worth. Our desirability.
Those soccer dads. Mr. IT guy. The lady in accounting. The cute gal in that shop behind the counter. They can ALL be cheating.
There isn’t a TYPE.
It’s the ones you least suspect.
“Oh, I wonder what he’s like in bed…” has crossed your mind unbidden. Or “She’s tempting as hell.”
Those you watch. Maybe they have a cute dimple. Or a wink. Or a certain beddability.
They are having an affair.
Maybe their hair is still damp from an afternoon hotel rendezvous. “Oh, I was at the gym,” they might say. “Hmmm,” I wonder about that.
“Gym, eh?”
“I’m at the gym all the time,” I laugh.
I know all about those nonexistant gym outings. LOL. I’ve had enough in my own life to be a size two.
Do we have better bodies? We might. The pool of adultery is pretty ruthless. You have to “beat” your competition or you get thrown out of the “game.”
I’ve written about how I only have a few years left and then I’m rendered invisible. Unfortunately, women disappear from view as they get older. Younger and prettier take the field.
But I’m still playing for now.
“You are so sexy,” my guy says to me.
“That’s because you love to fuck me!” I retort. “And I give amazing BJs.”
We aren’t all Barbies or Kens.
Yet we have a special something. A cocky streak or a teasing sense of humor. It’s a trait that makes us sexy as fuck. A great smile. Big eyes.
I’m a redhead and I’ve noticed quite a lot of us stepping out. Cheaters might be hotter than most.
“Looking sharp today!” you wink to the guy in the hallway at work you pass everyday. It’s that glint in his eyes that did it for you.
Attraction is in the eye of the beholder, after all.
And you know you have the right one when you sigh, “You’re out of my league, babe. I’m so happy.”
“No, I am, baby,” he replies. “I’m a lucky guy.”
So what do cheaters look like? It’s simple. Like everyone.
…
Here’s a clue to what I look like:
Follow me on substack — Monalisasmile.substack.com (It’s free and I share more about my misdeeds than here. And you know you want more!)
Buy me a chai tea (my fave) at [email protected] or Ko-Fi and spare me selling my body and soul on OnlyFans. Please. And thank you.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Andrej Nihil on Unsplash