What I Learned from a Five-Year-Old

The little girl in front of me is so adorable that my heart skips a beat…

I am deeply fascinated by all her questions and the pace she delivers them.

Her vulnerability makes me turn my head to look around if someone else is watching and hearing this, but I am the only one there.

Every time I do my best to answer one of her questions, she immediately hits me with a follow-up question blowing my mind.

I think to myself, where did my five-year-old go?

Imagine if I, as an adult, had the habit of asking so many questions, especially follow-up questions.

I would Rule the world in the same way this little girl, at this very moment, is completely emerged doing her thing.

In her mind, she’s ruling the world.

There is only 100% curiosity, acceptance, and willingness without anxiety and fears.

I’m a stranger, and she doesn’t know me. Still, she lets me into her soul.

She laughs when she says I’m weird and tells me so to my face without hesitation.

Like to say you’re weird, I’m weird too, and that’s cool.

I am all in, I’m present, and I’m mindful.

I never want this moment to end still I know the adult in me is going to say;

Well, it was nice meeting you, but I have to go.

And that was exactly what I did, but walking away from this little Dalai lama, I started thinking.

When did I exchange my 5-year-old for conformity?

When did I stop asking questions? When did I stop being weird and vulnerable?

I wonder if I woke up one morning and my 5-year-old self was gone, or it happened gradually?

I carry her around with me the rest of the day in every encounter.

I ask questions. I’m curious, playful, and weird.

The next day she’s fading away, and I try my best to keep her alive.

In an attempt to honor my encounter with the five-year-old girl, I go for a walk and start to ask myself questions.

I do that a lot.

I think about our interaction, what she said, did, and most importantly, how she made me feel.

She Made Me Feel My Feelings

Feelings are much like waves; I can’t stop them from coming, but I can choose which ones to surf.

That day, I didn’t attempt to stop my feelings from coming.

Instead, I acknowledged how I felt.

I didn’t deny my feelings, suppress them, or force myself into being something I am not.

I was my weird Five-Year-old self surfing with a smile on my face.

She made me curious and excited

Even after our encounter, I felt curious and excited the rest of the day before it started to fade.

Her million questions and ideas about nearly everything made me realize how I had stopped exploring this world.

How I was no longer asking questions.

Somewhere along the way, I got lost.

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” … Marcel Proust

She reminded me of the curiosity and excitement I used to feel learning new things and discovering new places.

Both within and outside myself.

She Made Me Feel Fearless

I climbed, jumped, fell, and got right back up as a child.

Every morning I would wake up, ready for new discoveries.

I expected new bruces to cover my body, fearless in the pursuit of all the things that excited me.

Then I grew up, and I suddenly accepted and surrendered to fear.

That day this little girl made me feel fearless and taught me a profound lesson:

Fear is a natural feeling built into my body for survival, but being afraid is a choice.

Summary

A Five-Year-old taught me something I had forgotten my adaptations to this world aren’t always good or mean that I am free.

On the contrary, it hinders me from the novel perspectives that my Five-Year-old self provided.

I will never meet her again, but if I did, I would like her to know she inspired me to turn off that inner critic in my head, and I am now open to change.

I am becoming better at letting my five-year-old self dictate my day, even when it feels uncomfortable or scary.

I choose which waves to surf, In my transition between land and water, I leave my fears at the shore.

I still stumble every day, and every time I can feel her presence, helping me up while she calls me wired with a smile on her face.

In Anais Nin words;

“Life shrinks and expand in proportion to my courage.”

Thank you for having the courage to read this to the end.

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Previously Published on medium

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