
There are three types of attachment styles. View them as a range of behavior.
On one end is Anxious, which means that you are overthinking about how you are perceived in the relationship and you might need constant reassurance about love.
On the other end is Avoidant, which means that you find it difficult to trust others and depend on them. You face challenges in getting close in relationships. And often, others want you to be more intimate than you feel comfortable.
In the center stands the Secure attachment style, when you are neither worrying too much over what you said at the dinner table nor are you running away when your partner wants emotional intimacy. Secure is what we aim for.
If you are confused about which one is you, observe your most common thoughts in your closest relationships (parents, siblings, partner).
More than half of us do not feel secure in love. We are either anxious or avoidant and more often than not, we fall in love with those from the other category.
It helps to have an awareness of which one is you
1. To help you nudge your reactions and responses in the right direction
2. Understand the behavior of the other person
This will save us from falling into thinking and emotional traps and develop more relaxed relationships with our loved ones.
At the end of the day, what’s extremely hard but often helps is believing in the fundamental goodness of people.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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