I inherited a false definition of what it means to be a man, which caused me confusion and heart-ache. It stopped me from shedding tears when all I felt was a need to cry. I belittled myself by searching for what I thought I lacked in relationships with women. I was emotionally over-run, which made me unable to support any partner I had, as I wished I had been able to do.
The year ended with a word sounding through me, as harp notes in the night: HONESTY.
Thanks to honesty, I have discovered more about what it means to be a man. Mostly, it brings me closer to my humanity, by cutting right through my own lies.
Honesty strips the masks of conditioning and brings a deep sense of direction by acting as a compass. It allows me to put the distractions aside and follow my true North. What this means for me is to rise above my sexual desires, which only made me beg for a hole to put my dick into. Rising above my desires makes me more compassionate towards my process and that of others. To let my voice be heard, gently and softly, in its description of what needs to be spoken. To be patient, and tolerant, towards my flaws and their teachings. To hold my space, so that my partner can feel unjudged, undiminished, desired to the last bit of her existence, cherished, and unbroken.
For me, to be a man means to be responsible for my deeds, clear in my actions, and true to my word.
What does “be a man” mean to you?
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