The difference between loyalty and fidelity is that loyalty refers to the strength of one’s allegiance and devotion to a person or group of people, especially when this garners power.
Fidelity is defined as a covenant made by two people who swear never to marry someone else. Since there can be multiple other reasons for not marrying someone else, this definition doesn’t accurately represent the meaning.
Loyalty deals with commitment and obligation, while fidelity deals with exclusivity or monogamy. That is, you can be loyal but not faithful. You can love someone and not be accurate. So loyalty and fidelity are both essential ideas to understand in relationships.
Loyal people will give more than their commitment if an opportunity presents itself, whether because the person being dedicated is considering moving on to another relationship or because there have been issues with the previous relationship that have caused it to be less than ideal. Loyal people will stay with the relationship even if it’s not perfect or because of an issue that has caused them to be unhappy.
In contrast, faithful people will only move on if they consider it necessary. They will keep themselves open to a new relationship but won’t leave the one they are in unless the problems are serious enough that they can’t deal with them and choose to stay in that relationship.
Loyalty calls for more of a wrong decision than fidelity does. Commitment is about which person will stick around, regardless of how the other person feels.
The loyalty that a person displays depends on their perceptions of the other person. If one considers oneself to be weak or helpless or undervalued, then the decision to stay with someone is a decision that’s difficult for them to make. So they are more likely than not to continue the relationship even if it’s in an unhealthy or unhappy state.
Fidelity, on the other hand, deals with exclusivity and monogamy. If you’re faithful to someone, you’re not interested in anyone else. If relationships are necessary for a person’s well-being, they must have an exclusive relationship with one person.
That being said, it may not be true that a person is either loyal or faithful. Some people believe that if they stay with the person, they’re in a relationship with no matter what and work through all of their issues, they are loyal. However, this is an oversimplification of the definition.
The truth is that a person could be in a relationship because they want to hold onto the security it gives them. They don’t see any reason to walk away or invest more effort than they already have in the relationship.
This person will stay with someone despite the issues and will not bother to get help or change their behaviors regarding that issue. And that is not loyalty.
In contrast, a person is not faithful if they are still with someone even though they are unhappy. When a person is unhappy and thinks about leaving, that’s when you can say that the person has been faithful to the relationship.
To be faithful, one must also consider other people and be willing to change their behaviors as part of their commitment to that relationship.
The truth is that a person may not be open — or able — to make any changes within themselves all by themselves. To be faithful, a person needs to be open to working with others.
Love and commitment are different concepts in that they are more closely related to each other than either is related to fidelity.
Love is the act of committing oneself without any conditions attached. Commitment is being willing to work through issues within yourself that you may be hesitant about communicating with another person.
Both may involve feelings of loyalty, but only one involves exclusivity.
A loyal person will have a strong sense of commitment to their partner. People may not love them, but they will stay with them because they care about the security that the other person can give them and don’t see any reason to leave.
However, a person can be loyal without being faithful. Loyalty is not necessary for fidelity, and fidelity is not necessary for love.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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