When Ignoring the Signs Leads to a Nightmare

Let me tell you a quick story about how ignoring something and hoping it is just a coincidence led to a lot of pain.

Let’s not do what I did…..

Let’s rewind the clock back 6 years for this story.

A time when we had just found out my wife was pregnant with our second child.

A time when no one knew what a covid outbreak would even mean.

Back to January 2019.

I had just been verbally offered a new job and it was one that I had applied for enthusiastically a couple months before hand. I had been through a few interviews, and spoken to colleagues about the role.

Now I am at the formal offer stage and something doesn’t quite feel right…

Throw a salary increase at me and I was certain to say yes!

Red flag in the process?

Meh

It will be ok.

Another red flag

Ah, I am sure it’s nothing.

Oh, another one before I even get the formal offer.

Hmm, not ideal but probably just unfortunate.

About 3 more red flags appear over the next week or so.

I am feeling doubtful now.

But that offer in front of me, with a higher salary.

BOOM

Accepted

I want the extra money.

Who cares about those red flags?!

It’s probably just unfortunate coincidences.

Fast Forward

Day 1 and this just doesn’t feel right.

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I dont know why but something is nagging at me.

I just can’t put my finger on it.

Maybe it’s just different.

I wanted different.

2 months later and that salary increase doesn’t seem worth it.

This is a bad fit and I know it already.

I think they are probably thinking it too.

But now I am trapped.

Can’t apply internally to a new role for 2 years.

Can’t go externally due to visa complications.

I try not to believe in regrets.

Everything happens for a reason etc.

Those 2 years were the hardest of my life.

Not just because of work.

But it was definitely a factor.

But that struggle taught me so much.

Now that I can see clearer I am grateful for that.

Now,

I listen to those red flags,

I explore them,

I try to work through them.

What I learnt the hard way taught me to NEVER IGNORE THEM.

Now think of something you are going through, or have gone through.

What warning signs did you see?

How do you know what they look like?

What steps do you take to learn more?

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This post was previously published on Dan Quinlan‘s blog.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

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