Rachel Miller-Bradshaw discusses the positive impact of fathers committed to marriage in the Black community
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As the country gears up to commemorate fatherhood, this representation will mostly be in a traditional family fashion. Though we are living in a society that acknowledges various family structures, it is still conservative in promoting marriage. The commercials that will be airing will present men not only as fathers but husbands also. For the black community honoring its fathers, we should also praise black husbands that have committed legally, and for many, religiously, to the mothers.
In my household I was privileged to experience the importance of marriage through my parents. When I was 11 years old, my parents divorced and my sisters and I never had the same close relationship with my father. Though proximity played a major role in our distance, I believe my father’s commitment to us changed because his commitment to our mother was gone. It’s simple to say fathers should be committed to their children despite the relationship with the mother, but in reality many fathers don’t handle it that way.
According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, married fathers are more likely than unmarried fathers to parent their children. In my feature documentary On My Own, the mothers expressed their belief that the fathers would be parenting their children if they were married to them. It is notable that marriage still offers higher probability of stability than dating and cohabitation.
The community must band together in our advice and message to encourage our young men to be husbands. Marriage makes fatherhood easier when both the mother and father are parenting in the same house. Black fathers gain from the wealth building that the institution of marriage ensures. This is imperative if we desire to decrease the fatherlessness epidemic.
The greatest commitment black fathers can make to their children is showing their commitment to their wives. It is a beautiful display that lets children know that they are an extension of the union. Moving forward, we have to set the tone that this national appreciation day is just as much about marriage as it is about committed fatherhood. In the Black community this is an effective strategy that will help raise young black boys into great men and fathers.
Photo: Julian Povey/Flickr
First of all, how about America stops having a policy of throwing black males in prison, thereby making them unmarriagable.
Let’s get that out of the way too along with harping on the failings of black males.
Just a thought.
This message – whether to black men or any other men – is WAY too simplistic. It has some validity IF (and only if) the man is going to sire some children. Then, regardless of his race, he’s got a moral obligation to take responsibility for the raising of those children. That moral obligation can be fulfilled with or without the existence of a legal contract – which is what marriage REALLY is. But I think that more black men need to be offered the opportunity and the idea of going MGTOW. They need to know that there is a… Read more »
Most single mothers have been previously married.
Most divorces are initiated by mothers.
Therefore, the largest single cause of children growing up without a father in the house is that the mother forced the father out. Mothers, not fathers, are the largest single cause of fatherlessness.
I hear what you are saying. But before you encourage men to commit to marriage first you must investigate why they aren’t. Male – female relations of all races are in trouble. Less and less are they making the decision to move forward together. There are causes and reasons from both sexes and they are valid and they need to be addressed. Its sad that its the children who hurt from this.
Unfortunatley without delving into why men aren’t getting married (or staying married) and instituting fixes to these reasons then your message has little use.
Let’s assume all this is true. It’s true insofar as it is in the man’s power to get or stay married. It takes two people to make a marriage, and we cannot assume that if a dad is not around it’s all his own choices and has nothing to do with his wife or mother of his kids. IF getting and staying married is so crucial to children’s development, then that requires BOTH parents to be committed. I don’t know about the African American community in particular, but on average in cases of divorce it’s women who file for the… Read more »