It’s simple. RAW, HARD, EMOTION!! Life isn’t always gonna be butterflies and snickerdoodles! Marriages are ruined and ended because couples are constantly expecting each other to act as perfectly as they tried to act on their wedding day! The truth is, it’s gonna happen. You will piss off your spouse. They will piss you off.
A true, strong, relationship is going to develop as we accept our partners as imperfect people. I often look at myself, then I look at my wife, and I straight forward apologize to her for getting herself stuck with me. Yeah, it sounds harsh, but seriously, I would drive myself up the wall! She is always a sweetheart and tells me how I’m amazing, nice, funny, and smell like flowers. … maybe I lied about that last one.
So while she is so willing to put up with me, why shouldn’t I be willing to put up with her?
She’s always asking me to edit her writing. While she was in school, I found myself spending a good hour or so clearing up 10-page essays! Now she has a real job, (unlike me,) and I end up being called upon for every email she’s gotta send out. I’m sitting in our room, getting my homework done, writing a blog post, whatever, and she walks in, and I get all frustrated, knowing I gotta stop everything and go read a few sentences so that Jonny doesn’t get confused from his teacher’s email!
It’s in that moment of utmost frustration, as my mind and chest strain from the difficulty of simply standing up when I really don’t want to, that I realize that this, is true love. Me, fighting myself, pushing away mine own comfort, deliberately keeping myself in a nice mood for the sake of my wife’s happiness, is the very self-sacrifice that led the oldest, cutest couples in the world today to the happiness and love they experience in their relationship.
So yeah, a lot of people, especially these days, will get divorced and never see each other again, because, “He drove me crazy,” or “I couldn’t deal with her crap anymore!” But as for me, when my wife really drives me up the wall and I wanna yank out my hair, and her hair, I take a step back and realize that this twisting, agonizing, patience inducing feeling I have, is the purest love I could have ever asked for. My willingness to let her drag my heart across and all over my face (in a happy, family sense) shows my willingness to give her the care and support she deserves as my spouse, and my best friend.
Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.